Tag: black

A Study in Black and White

A Study in Black and White

Myalogist! Ive been unable to can the last couple of weeks with all the goings on and I could talk about them, but I wont, at least not for now.  My personal Clive Davis (with me being his sans-crack still alive Whitney) has told me 

Oscar on the Rocks, Hold the Bullshit.

Oscar on the Rocks, Hold the Bullshit.

man the fucking internet makes me so fucking mad, which is probably not new information. Everybody got a fucking opinion about everydamnthing. (yeah, I know) I wanted to slit my fucking (what is that the fourth fuck of the post?) wrists wide open Monday morning. 

And Now a Word on Blackyonce

And Now a Word on Blackyonce

By this late date, you are more than aware that Beyonce has instantly become the most black woman, dare I say person, in America.  She got on the world stage where the previous blackest title holder was Janet’s nip.  She done told yall that she likes Blue’s hair in an Afro, even tho that doesn’t explain why she sometimes likes it with lint in it, but I digress.  (im not linking to that picture, she’s a child, a beautiful lil black one for chrissakes, but Im a lowlife at times so if you wanna see it, hit me up in the DM, where it goes down).  She single handedly saved one of the most important black institutions in America, The Red Lobster. That alone should grant her instant savior status.  Where else would yall go after church, graduations, baptisms, the mall, exorcisms, a lover’s quarrel, a clean pap smear, etc.  And although Im not a member of the vaunted Beyhive, I picked up what she put down, with that Formation move.  Luckily for me and for those of you that pretend that you liked that song, I got to see the video sans music, cuz I was in a ghetto ass shop on Ashland doing something almost as black as that video – getting my hair crochet-did.  That shit was black as fuck.  BLM.  Afros.  Nostrils.  NOLA.  Katrina.  POLICE brutality. Made me think bout Kanye for a moment, when he was still black post-Katrina, then I felt dirty, repented and stopped.  I have my thoughts on the timing of the release followed immediately by high as giraffe ladyparts concert tickets RIGHT AROUND TAX TIME, but I aint in attendance for me today.  I am in attendance for one of the funniest folks I know, one Antonio Bealer.  I asked that negro what he thought.  One question.  What do you think about Beyonce…and this nword wrote a dissertation in my inbox!  Hivers….go away.  You wont be happy.

Antonio?

On Sunday as I was watching Cameron J. Newton and Co. lay down and let the already insufferable Manning family add another ring to their collection, (Why Black Jesus, why?) a popular singer named Beyonce Knowles (you may have heard of her once or twice) debuted a song that made a political statement during halftime. While singers using these platforms to make political statements is nothing new, this was a whole new world for the singer who previously pioneered the art of surfboarding and leading packs of single women to dance around in a circle celebrating their single-ness while she went home to her husband every night. Needless to say, it caused quite a firestorm. 

Sometime between the end of the game and now despite her brief experience as a freedom fighter she has been installed as the new leader of Black Panther 2K16 by the powers that be and there have been oh so many social media battles between us peasants about Queen Bees motives, impact and how anybody who didn’t agree with what she did is a hater. SMFH.  So I’d like to take a moment to say…. STOP IT. All of you. Stop right now.  Stop it to all those who thinks that somehow Beyonce has channeled her inner Angela Davis and is gonna somehow inspire others to finally recognize that Black Lives do indeed MATTER.

If I need someone to inspire women to drink large quantities of Ciroc and profess their love for “bae” or to eloquently throw their man out the house while only making left turns and leaving the keys to the Jag because she bought that, Then Beyonce will be the 1st person I turn to. When it comes to making anthems for ladies to follow (even tho she herself probably wouldn’t) she is indeed the queen. As Winnie Mandela 2.0 im not really buying what she’s selling. I for one just find it to be far too coincidental that this outburst came just as tickets for the Look at Me Stand Up for Yall Now When These Tickets Go On sale Tour went on sale.  I say stop it to the media and government officials in America and abroad who are calling for boycotts and investigations into her alleged “Black Panther” ties.  Are yall serious right now? Did yall listen to this song.  I didn’t know whether to go lie down on an expressway in protest or head to Red Lobster with a bottle of hot sauce  for some of those Cheddar Biscuits. The song was dumb as hell and although I don’t know her personally I’m gonna say her ties to an militant groups, ummm don’t exist. Unless you get the girls she dissed in destiny’s Child back together. Now there’s some black rage there.

A double stop it to all the people who think EVERYTIME somebody doesn’t agree with one of their superhero’s (oh yes the Queen is an Avenger) that they are a hater. Beyonce and Jay are shrewd business people and had to have known that this mini controversy would generate publicity that no marketing campaign ever could. Furthermore, those performances are on tape delay. If what she sang was so bad, they would have NEVER aired it to 111 million people worldwide.  Its ok to have divergent opinions people. If you love Beyonce and she inspires you to do better than so be it. Do you.  Love on Top made me wanna change my life too. So I get it. But if you like me, think this was a shrewd publicity stunt, then theres nothing wrong with that. You shouldn’t have to be attacked on social media by the Beehive for dissing the Queen. They have a right to be angry after seeing those tickets prices for the On the Run From The Man Tour. At any rate. Stop. Enjoy the Show. Because that’s all it is.

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