My writing bring all the boys to the yard and they’re like, it’s better than yours. Damn right, it’s better than yours I could teach you……but you cant teach genius, boo. Today’s guest column is brought to you by the homie, Brendan aka Big aka …
Month: March 2016
man the fucking internet makes me so fucking mad, which is probably not new information. Everybody got a fucking opinion about everydamnthing. (yeah, I know)
I wanted to slit my fucking (what is that the fourth fuck of the post?) wrists wide open Monday morning. Fucking (5th) think pieces from colored people across the land that was POSED TA BE boycotting the Oscars.
He made racism a joke!
Aint nothing funny bout hanging from a tree!
He aint takin up for Mexicans!
He made an Asian joke! Thats’s racist!
He came for a black woman! Dont come for Jada unless she sends for you! (can we all agree to retire that one?)
I aint even watch five seconds of the fucking (6th and last, maybe) shit and I feel as if i know all the jokes, but none of the winners, which I dont care about CEPT BAE. BAE won, y’all. FINALLY. Please make me famous,so I can meet him and we can become The Guiness record holders for oldest parents. Ahem…WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN, and WHY, Sway? Why everybody gotta dissect the hell out of the man’s monolouge? Why Tyrese black ass gotta have something to say? Shouldn’t he be busy telling Black women why they are habitually single and angry? If you qualified to tell me whats wrong with me, and lets be honest, that list is long, why aint you smart enough to UNDERSTAND A FUCKING (7th, I tried tho) JOKE.
I aint even finna keep talmbout us talking bout us, cuz this morning, two days after the Oscars, I came across a great piece talking bout the others.
On The Academy’s inherent exclusionary caucasity, Christopher Rock said, “It’s not the racist you’re accustomed to. Hollywood is sorority racist, like, ‘We like you, Rhonda, but you’re not a Kappa.”
So I wake up the next day after my zombie fix and I see that Twitter is abuzz with reviews of Chris Rocks performance. Most people were generally complimentary but I saw some outrage about Chris monologue. So I went ahead and found video clips of what he said. I’m confused about what people are outraged about. He stated that Hollywood is racist and don’t do enough to promote diversity. Ummm, this is true. (I’m still mad that Booty Call didn’t get nominated back in the day personally). There were people upset that he used nearly the entire monologue to discuss #OscarsSoIvory. What else was he going to discuss?? The fact that ¾ of us have never or will never see most of the movies that win at the Oscars. They brought Chris in there because they knew he could capably navigate the subject and keep us entertained. Mission Accomplished. They were especially mad that he riffed on Jada Pinkett Smith and said she wasn’t even invited. I personally thought this was funny too. And true. Plus Jada didn’t need to come anyway because she needs to spend some more time at home with her kids helping them remember what gender they are. Well that’s all for now. Until the next time people are fake mad about something. Thanks for the memories Chris. Special shout to Clorox Bleach for their continued sponsorship of the Academy awards.