Author name: zyansaeed615

Recaps

Just Like What? 2.5

Welcome to Just Like What? THEE definitive And Just Like That Recap….that only bout 5 people read, but its definitive, nonetheless, MKAY? Listen, 2 seasons and 5 episodes in and I finally recognized the show I used to love. Listen a penis pump was not only seen and used but most hilariously HEARD. I rarely laugh out loud despite typing LOL on things, but yall – I LAUGHED OUT LOUD. I actually laughed or smiled at a number of things this week. LETS GO SEASON 2 of AND JUST LIKE THAT! Starting with Miranda’s threesome and Harry’s Ghost sperm not being sprayed on Charlottes tetas last week’s trend of the sex being put back in the city continues this week! Everyone is getting dick. Seema you get dick! Professor Lady you get dick! LTW got dick from her husband who pulled out his George Washington costume from his time on Broadway as the first president in Hamilton for a lil cosplay! You twee freaks! Carrie, your uptight ass woulda got some dick if the man it is attached to wasnt married to a man just as crazy and co-dependent as he! Charlotte: cute story line and even cuter vintage ralph, but Ill let Cline talk to yall bout dat. Rock got scouted by a Ralph Lauren agent and became a model….Charlotte was all yay and Harry was all nay! Charlotte won out. This story line I loved because dont we all love Harry? And Harry in a bad wig? And Harry in a bad wig, who knows its a bad wig but still loves it? Yeah. His interaction with the photog was funny and the way he peaced out made me smile. I dont know how this show got me to care about a storyline with one of these kids, but kudos! Miranda was Miranda-ing all over this episode. She has NEVER been one of my favorites, and any of yall that bought an “im a miranda” shirt, back in the day, I hope you’ve healed <3 – cuz yall girl has NOT. Che, who Miranda was never suited for, is figuring out that they dont really know each other. And what she is learning she may not like so much. One is nocturnal, one isnt. One is open to threesomes, the other gets muscle spasms during them. One gives a fuck about her kid, one could but doesnt. It was nice to see Miranda being able – at least in the moment – of giving Che the space she so desperately needed after getting her asshole ripped apart by that focus group – which ouch! I know Che was flying high and America loves a downfall, but to see your life’s trajectory torn apart by folks that cannot and sadly can relate has to hurt. I dont necessarily want to see Miranda back with Steve, but I also dont want to see her unhappy and shrinking herself -further – for a relationship. SEEMA, you sexy bitch you! Can I tell you I love this character? Her and her penis pumping man! I loved how her arc touched on the challenges of dating as a person of a certain age. I loved how she wasnt deterred by him revealing that he had ED. I loved that he came – literally – with his penis pump. And yall already know that I loved the sound that penis pump made when he put it on. And I love how she didnt care that he put it on. I love her high level discussion about why she wanted to continue to see him. I love that she didnt freak out when he didnt make her come. I love that she just pulled out her vibrator. I love that she didnt care when he got offended. I love that she turned up the speed over his objections. I love that she let him go, so that she could come! I LOVE SEEMA Carrie: okay miss girl….done accidentally found a man to get up under! She causes a man to fall off his bike and then proceeds to act in a way that if that man acted, she woulda called the law. Taking him to the urgent care was cool and thoughtful, showing up at his door – uninvited and unannouced with 17 soups and commenting on his station in life, just doing all the shit that women do and think makes them endearing, but seems stalkerish and over reaching when men do it. He’s completely irresponsible and overwhelmed, if not wealthy and successful and doesnt really have the bandwith to incorporate carries box into his circle. She gets up outta his crib mid make out session and on to the next….sex – hopefully That’s Facts previews for next week look like we better get ready for the return of Aiden!

Recaps

#AJLT: C-Line Style Cap

Yall know what time it is…fashion can be late, but style never is cuz its timeless….And even if we dont always love the storylines, we gonna always go up over the styles and who better to do just that than my favorite fashionista and her fave thing to write, C-Line Style Cap! Get out ya fashion bibles, thesaurses and translator apps, cuz my homey gets down for the fashion crown! C-Line? And Just Like That… we have SEASON 2! Warm my heart fathagod with the fashions because after the BET Awards and my time in Vegas, ya girl needs to feel the warmth of the fashions.  Ya boy Max was nice enough to bless us with two episodes to kick it off and I could not be happier.  With that being said, I loved the opening “night night” scene as all of the ladies embrace their own sexyness as they head to bed. Since Miranda is in the West, she’s hours behind so she’s in a Miranda style dress (that’s no compliment).  Carrie shimmies to the bed an oversized New York Times sweatshirt which clearly belongs to her “special friend”. This was surprisingly sexy, I gotta admit it.  Lisa (MVP!) slithers into the bedroom in a cobalt blue Tom Ford kaftan – our cousin stole the montage but I’ll continue!  Charlotte and Seema came ready for business, Mrs York-Goldenblatt in a black silk gown and Seema in olive. The professor cued up Netflix and Facetime in an olive silk chemise. Why did I include these you may ask?  Well, lingerie matters and it’s one thing that makes women feel next level sexy. The only thing sexier is when you take it off! Yes, Carrie is my forever fave but baybeeeeee…. Lisa and Seema are so damn chic! I’d like to forecast that both will snatch fashion souls this season.   So… the girls are heading to The Met Ball!  Charlotte arrives at Carrie’s with Richard Burton the Bulldog in a Samantha Sung shirt dress. Richard Burton is in Burberry (((pooch sigh))). I chased my tail looking for the designer of Carrie’s jumpsuit only to learn it’s a vintage wedding dress that was converted into a jumpsuit – GENIUS!  While the ladies are leaning into the fashion houses for their looks, Carrie is rolling with an indie. So what is the theme??? VEILED BEAUTY! As they prep, Lisa preps in a red Coco DeMer bodysuit and light fingerwaves before giving her husband his “8 minutes) – SUPER SEXY!  She leaves for The Met in a red long sleeve georgette Valentino gown with a breathtaking train and headpiece of red feathers!  Take me to the king!!!!  Charlotte leaves her condo in an unnamed gilded age corset dress which really would have gone well with her husband’s awful tophat and tails – barf.  Seema left her home in a dramatic champagne colored hooded gown. Now I know it sounds awful but I swooned when I saw the hood hug her retro curled bang. There’s something about her swag that elevates her overall style POV. Carrie’s indie look fell through and chose my personal fave from her arsenal…. her Vivienne Westwood wedding gown complete with the teal bird veil and cape.  That’s right, repurpose your pain!

Recaps

Just Like What? 2.2

Welcome to Just Like What? THEE definitive And Just Like That Recap…. Miranda: more che/miranda sex huh? okay girl…ohhhh I had forgot that she is an alcoholic….at least she has these AA meetings to give her something to do, cuz aside from blowing che and looking unstable, ms mamas aint got much going on. Oh but here we find her, phoneless and drug free at the beach, being picked up by her gay lovers husband…dun duh derrrrrrrrrrr, well we didnt see that coming.  Lets see how Miranda is going to fuck up this Tony Danza dinner she is arriving late and stank as fuck, literally and figuratively.  Good thing she doenst go there…she takes her ass home and waits to confront che, who tells her she was married and just never got around getting divorced, which, sorry ABC execs, makes her more black than irish/italian/mexican.  This leads her to the announcement that she doesnt know Che, and Che’s all like SUPRISE, I dont know me either. True shit right there.  Carrie: doesnt want to talk about vaginal suppositories and I cant really blame her.  Her being a sex writer and refusing to “mention it all”leads to her podcast being cancelled…and her Tuesday nights….sad, I guess to see them go.  Charlotte: parenting issues continue…I dont have kids so I dont care. Her kid sold some sentimental clothing to be able to afford her new keyboard is charlotte is verklempt. These drags out….Charlotte wants one of the dresses returned and like everyone watching, Im wondering why she just didnt buy it back. LTW:  oh we doing talented tenth story lines on here huh? is the paper bag test going to be on here next? Can I just say, I woulda throat punched her monster in law…you aint gonna talk shit bout me in my own got damn house and this person you shitted out your box better not let you either.  MKAY? Her husbands uppity mom in law, sporting pink and green, is mortified at her sons irritation at not being able to get a cab.  In NYC, in this year of our Lord and Uber/Lift, cabs are passing fares?  I dont buy it, but they are def selling this as a storyline. And dont be just walking your old ass up in my bed room when I just announced it was mommy/daddy time.   – that pigeon purse is one of the most abhorrent things Ive ever seen on this show. – Morehouse, Selma, “The Rules” mentioned this episode. – They done dug Tony Danza out the crate. – Why is miranda so constantly awkward at Che’s shows.  Youre a nooyawker for chrissakes. act like you’ve been somewhere. – why is carrie sleeping in a double bed? Professor Braids: her man wants a baby….and a white woman sometimes, but a baby.

Recaps

Just Like What? 2.1

Welcome to Just Like What? THEE definitive And Just Like That Recap….Imma just write this as it goes as I dont know if I wanna commit my wit to this show, but….nostalgia. We open the show with everyone coming out to their men…and their Che…sigh…except Professor Braids.  She’s coming out to my favorite sneaky link, my tv. <3  Carrie: fucking her producer, and he’s a silver fox, so Ill allow it. She gets weirded out when her producer asks her out…and needs advice from Che to go out on a date.  A woman that’s been offering dating advice since her hair was its natural color brown is asking a gay woman for advice on a man….thanks to the writers that had che say “im a gay woman, I have no idea whats going on in that man head,” cuz duh. She gets her.   SEEMA IS STUNNING. But aint going to the met cuz she is having lunch earlier that day with her man and his kid and his ex…i guess. She finds out that he still lives at home with his ex….and breaks it out of there in time to get Anthony bounced out of his gifted Met ticket….thats some real fuckshit.  LTW: got her own fashion moment crossing the street in that red, yesssssss mama.  And yes for those 8 minutes you got.  Charlotte and these kids….i guess…I mean I aint really here for them…. There is some titty sucking, which is usually pretty hot, but not this time.  The gals and their pocfs are off to the Met Gala. If I may….Seema – D, Charlotte – C, Carrie….now, its a b or something, but i dont like the way this show wants us to go up for these old dresses….first, last season they wanted me to think the dress the russian stood her up in was her favorite dress and now the one John James Preston abandoned her in, makes the Met.  nope. – HIS MOREHOUSE TIE? HBCU mention #1.  – Only 3 weeks have passed since the events of last season. Miranda has really changed..I guess life does that….as she states, its the new her….the best her ever….the jury is still out on that, Toots. And moments later, just like that, she hates the new her…luckily for her, the jury is still out on that one too. I mean I mostly hate her, but Im willing to stick with it. Predictably and sadly, she is still the old her…unsure of herself, doubting her relationships, these chicks def age, but they dont mature. Its nice to see her genuinely be there for Che when she breaks down over her weight.   – That uber joke everyone keeps dragging was the closing joke of her set. :-/ – Anthony loves balls….glad to see some things stay the same.  Miranda: so are we gonna get a bachelors degree is lesbianism this season.  Professor Braids: they done brought shaza out for her this season! okay den, i may commit her name to memory now! This phone sex scene is terrible. What man wouldnt excuse himself to take that call or wouldnt take it at all….no man I know woulda shown that woman in his hotel room, but what the fuck do I know? SN: Ive always wanted to do a sensory depravation tank but Im terrified of water at night. If something happened after this, please forgive me…this is where my notes stopped. lol Im publishing this after I watched up to the most current ep, which I believe is episode 4. I really enjoyed the last two eps and Im feeling very “this my man and im gone stick beside him” bout it.

Recaps

Snowflakes 6.9

Yall know im all types of assholes for this late ass recap…but i got married and then got my heart broken when my boy turned into, well, it still hurts to say. So Im posting this, and 8 and the finale this week….in the interim im serious about them shirts…how much would you pay for them? We open up to queen louie in her bad bitch acitvated- B.B.A. its a thing, get into it -suit is clearing out her marital home and ret to go when she gets a page from Franklin, warning her that the DEA is on the way. She hauls her considerable ass out the back door and narrowly escapes a certain future in jail. She runs to Bunky, who tells her he wants half her remaining money in exchange for helping her escape. She agrees. On their way to a property she “has” this nigga needs to hit the pipe which gives Louie some time to search his car, find a gun and asks to see his pager. She finds out Unc absolutely reached out to him the night Kane grabbed her, and she leaves him on the side of he road – alive to take another hit of another pipe another day. We find both Rueben and Teddy in the clutches of Franklin. Teddy tries to scare them with his ties to the CIA, but Franklin already knows he’s not with the agency no more, Teddy wants him to remain sensible, to which Franklin responds “sensible been gone, muthafucka…” After flying El Oso to the land of freedom, he returns to talk to Teddy, who doesn’t seem to have budged much on giving Franklin a damn thing. These torture talks produced some of my favorite scenes on the show. This is the most honest these two men have been their entire relationship. Eventually The Saint ends up shooting a gun at Teddy in an effort to prove how despearate to get his money, when Cissy arrives to stop him. She implores him to stop, to let Reuben handle teddy. Leon follows with the same advice, and Franklin gives them his ass to kiss. He aint never stopping til he gets his ends. Now why is his mama there? There was no reason for Cissy to be at that warehouse where men were gonna be tortured I guess so she could have this conversation with Rueben, who tells her the KGB has tapes of Franklin. She then has a convo with Teddy, where she demands to know what happened to her husband. Cissy doesn’t understand how he doesn’t feel guilty about destroying an entire generation and teddy’s like bitch, how you don’t feel guilty bout it? She was just about to walk out when Teddy tells her he drugged him and put him in a Puerto Rican prison…aye dios mios! V tells Franklin that they are running out of both time and money….and the time part she can assist with…..she turned the gas on literally…..she took tp warmin up some crisco for her baby daddy to give to Teddy and well…..that naker ended up on pork rind time. I love the convo that followed….Franklin asked what we all wanted to know….why did he take ALL his money. Teddy spouted some patriotic bullshit and Franklin stops him cold. Teddy hits him with the truth….he’s the HNIC, not Franklin and he can do what he wants. Franklin keeps pushing and Teddy finally tells him, he stole all the money cuz he wanted to hurt Franklin because he “left” him….they both fight back a tear, although its hard to tell whether Teddy is sad or his skin is afire, but a tear is a tear. Teddy then proposes a deal, they will split the money. Franklin agrees to this, which pisses Cissy off to NO end. She offers to go with Franklin to hand off Teddy to the CIA, but tells him she will never see her again if he frees Teddy, Franklin says cool………this plan is going well, until Cissy begins pestering Teddy about Alton again, but this time he gives her the bitter truth…Alton is dead, he shot his ass and dumped his body…..Cissy immediately gives him what he is looking for at just the moment he is about to make the final transfer to Franklins account…she pulls out a gun and shoots him, leaving us all dying to the sound of a dead phone. I am not okay. And I know I am not going to be anymore okay moving forward. In a great moment we see El Oso getting a new lease on life…sad to see him go but happy to watch him leave. Franklin flies him to somewhere and they share a fond moment where they joke about Oso returning to the ring as The Saint. I dont want you to be a killer…UH MAAM YA TOO LATECissy told Vee to have the tallest glass of shut the fuck up. Havemeyer smoote walked off on all them nakers and they mess….

Recaps

C-Line Style Cap: The Met 2023

Handing over the reins to one of my fave fashion girlies, C-line from the 9 baby! So these are all her words and thoughts, so if you dont agree suck ya teeth and move on cuz she dont care I and dont either. With no further adieu…. I’m just gonna say the 2023 Met Gala is giving, dammit.  Not a face mask in sight, glam is on EXTRA high. Prior to the start of the fashion hunger games, I gave my predictions for the night based on the theme “Karl Lagerfeld – A Line of Beauty”. These would be heavy for the evening: Black, white, pink, navy blue, Choupette vibes (Meow!) Black sunnies, Rich girl nails, Fluff – Lots and lots and lots of Chanel. This is a post-Law Roach gala this year as the legend (and crowned jewel, bitches) is taking time for himself, so the stakes were high to see if the girls, gworls and guys would hit the mark but baybeeeee, I think the late Lagerfeld would be proud. Some would be slapped tho. So let’s get in there.  The night is all about vintage Chanel! Naomi Campbell, Nicole Kidman, Giselle Bunchden, Dua Lipa, Penelope Cruz and more were all dripped. At one point it started to feel like a Chanel parade but I digress. Although his designs from his time with the legendary house of Chanel were mightily represented, there was a serious dose of Thom Browne, Burberry, Sergio Rossi, Gucci, Jean Paul Gaultier and Versace on display.  The color of the night was definitely black. So, let’s talk about Billie Eilish in Simone Rocha – black, sheer, micro tulle, black hose, black pumps. It was a great dose of 90’s sexiness in 2023. This look was a hit and also seen on Joan Smallz and Rita Ora.  I was also gagged by Michelle Yeoh (bet you aint see that one coming!).  See, when you’re a woman of a certain age, you have to gag the nieces gracefully and that’s what she did. She looked absolutely stunning in balloon sleeves with those thigh high platform boots.  Now I know this will be an unpopular opinion but KeKe Palmer, lil’ mama was on theme and was so pretty in a form fitting tweed Sergio Rossi column dress with an oversized powder blue duster. She looked so dope to me!  Her hair was giving glamazon with volume straight from Yehia on 53rd Street.  Paying homage isn’t just pulling out all of your Chanel and KeKe proved THAT! Hallie Bailey with her cute little self shined in sheer white floral Gucci with a dramatic ruffled duster. She gave a good dose of sexy with that signature 90’s high neck. She nailed it! Anok Yai in Prabal Gurung and Teyana Taylor in Thom Browne – WHOA! Anok was the epitome of drama with gold to silver ombre with cascading palettes and beads and a black train. See, the black train set this off. I also loved her mesh gloves with black hose. Her skin tho, lawdhammercy.  See, Teyana Taylor shows up and leaves it the fuck on the FLOOR. Her Thom Browne dress was on some other ish, and I’m here for it!  I love her because she allows her  feminine sexiness to shine with masculine touches like the tie and Lagerfeld’s signature dark glasses. And who else can pull off a fascinator WITH a mullet while giving the paps a twerk. I LOVE IT!  THIS is how you pay homage! Now, let’s talk about the bad. The bads were REALLY bad. Next level bad.  Please don’t be mad at me, this is my opinion and these ladies are talented on another level but fashion aint it.   I’ll start with Quinta Brunson. She must not be on Prabal Gurung’s nice list. This dress gave 1993 homecoming straight from Peaches (IYKYK). Then to slap that camellia on there, it was just… sad. The dress was terribly fitted and I want to know, where were her friends? Sis, fire your WHOLE team. Next up, Yara Shahidi in Gaultier. Maybe it was the color on her skin, maybe it was the hair, that necklace… I dunno but it needed editing. And the front of the dress looked like a massive wad of toilet paper hanging from the front. Other notable flops were: Except North. Leave North out of it.  The men did not come to play either.  Diddy, dressed by June Ambrose in Sean John executed the mission. Stormzy ironically matched Mary J Blige in blue floral Burberry. My other male faves were Alexander Skarsgard in Thom Browne, Dwayne Wade in Prada and Bad Bunny in Jacquemus.   Honorable mention to Jared Leto who showed up as Lagerfeld’s beloved feline, Choupette.  WAIT!!!! RiRi has arrived and her growing bump is wrapped in a 1997 vintage Fendi mink swing coat while ASAP is in denim and tartan plaid Gucci – paying homage to a fashion legend on their way to the Met.  WAIT!!!! Under that mink is a living, breathing white camellia via Valentino!!!! Red lip, dark shades with giant lashes on them!  I am weak!  Someone check on me tomorrow, her look was worth the wait!!!!!!!

Recaps

Snowflakes 6.7

Dear Snowfall Writers room, thank you for taking your foot off the pedal this week so that we could all send Unc home in peace without spending the whole episode with clenched cheeks. Cuz didnt we need that after last week? I know I surely did. Now come, Myalogists and pull up a seat tween me and Uncle Clifford Laurent down to the repast where down in the valley all the girls….we dress in all black like the devil himself, Franklin Saint. Louicifer: we pick up shortly after where we left off last week…with the remaining members of Team Save Louie are escorting our beloved Unc’s remains to a funeral home. At the very moment, Louie has to hand his body off, she loses it. Lee sweetly takes her home and offers to stay the night with her or call bunky crackhead ass, but she declines. She wants to be by herself to process….she takes a long look in the mirror at her jagged face and the k branded into her chest….grisly reminders of her last couple of hours. She takes in the photos of her happy day and all the gifts that remain unopened. She accepts a visit from Cissy, during which they ruminate over their shared losses with one noted exception by Louie – while Cissy got shit to still care about, Louie is fresh outta fucks. Plagued by memories of her abuse, Louie takes to the streets to the one person that she feels can understand: Skulliver. Listen, prayers to that man. He just joined forces with the men that killed his girl and their daughter….and is listening to the wife of one of those men, advising her on coping mechanisms. She tries to take his zen advice to heart, but Louie is still too raw, too angry. She fields a call from Teddy Reed, who demands to meet, but Louie on her KingShit….she tells the white man to wait until she gets ready. They eventually meet, she tells him Jerome died and what he wants, Franklin, will have to wait til she buries her husband. We next find her at the funeral, where she shares a minute with Cissy…before being approached by The Saint, who channels his real life chick’s ex with an “what you need from me Auntie?” Louie wants the truth, even tho we all know it. Write ya congressman if ya dont agree, but that man came back out of love for his family…although as he admits he is the devil himself, he says he came back for the promise of catching Teddy Reed. The Saint: our mans was really quiet and pensive this episode. He handles the business of sending unc home, before heading back to Camp Saint to update everyone on the fates of the fam. Cissy questions her brothers whereabouts and The Saints face says it all. They go down to the funeral home so Cissy can say a private goodbye. Our man is getting more and more desperate to find Teddy, so he goes to Leon asking for a loan. Who would have ever thought we would see the day The Saint would need a loan. He needs the money to give to Oso, so he will lead him to Teddy. All of this shit leads us to see our mans in the most vulnerable position possible….he’s having night terrors and panic attacks….and rightfully so. He went from working at Cho’s to watching his uncle be killed in about 4 yrs. Teddy Reed: After getting bitched out bout his living conditions by his girlfriend, Teddy is joined by his wife – his pregnant wife, Julia, She confronts Teddy about putting his family, especially his son. Give Franklin the money back, so all of them can be safe. But Teddy Reed is bout that action so he aint going. Julia says cools….Ill just out your dumb patriotic ass. Good for her that the CIA is already finding Teddy dispensible, him and his niggER, so she may not have to do much. Oso: My people’s champ is continuing to go thru! Rueben shows up at his door, scuse me, his breakfast table making his same fucking threats…where was all that MOUF when Teddy threatened your ass, RUEBEN? Fuck outta here….but it scares Oso and more importantly Xiamarra, who tells Oso, the jig is up and she is planning an escape of her own that does not include him. He goes to meet Franklin and reveals each and everything that is happening to him, CIA, FBI and KGB. How did a poor wrestler find himself in the middle of all of this shit? Franklin says he can buy Oso a day or so, but he needs Teddy NOW. They talk of setting a trap…and from the looks of next week……. Now listen, below Snowballs im gonna talk about a major spoiler for a major character, dont look if you dont want to know. Snowballs: – Sad to see Wanda go from her african braids to her black girl bob.– How much time do we think has passed since the stated start time of 1983? How long since Louie and Unc’s wedding?– LOL at Ximarra locking the door behind Rueben…maam you woke up with him in your house.– WANDA IS LEAVING!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!– Louie’s talk with her friend was heartbreaking…..– We love a black mama and from Cissy braiding lee’s hair a couple seasons ago to her offering Wanda a path forward in life, we love Cissy– The instrumental of “ready or not” as the Saint family walked in was so emo to me. – What war is Lee still prepping for? Kane’s folks? Teddy? Big Deon, who was casket sharp (all puns intended) in his plaid suit…..– Why was Oso and The Saint dressed like the Blues Brothers at the funeral?– Bunky get your dope fiend ass outta here! – So nice to see Uncle Clifford who is known in south central at Laurent, Louie’s cousin who we first see hosting a

Recaps

Snowflakes 6.6

TRIGGER WARNING this was one of the roughest hours of television ive ever kinda watched….I say kinda because for roughly 75% of this show, I had a good view of the tv blocked by my hands, my feet, my ovaries, a blanket, my dog – anything I could get my hands on to not have to witness was was going on in a garage in south central LA. Before we get into this, I’d like to offer some folks the chance to leave because a violent sexual assault took place this episode. Saint, Lady Saint and her OG: we catch up with this scamming assed crew moments after Saint murked Teddy Reed’s dad and burned the house down. The ladies are standing on the tarmac waiting when Young Oracle decides she wants to have a mother daughter talk. She wants Lady Saint to leave her baby daddy and come run away to a life of safety with her. She cautions her daughter that she will never know a day of peace with him, neither will their child. She aint wrong, but Lady Saint tells her to beat her feet, he may be a lot of things, but he aint never let her down nor lied to her, unlike her mother. That’s her man and she gone stick beside him – that the time that Vee is on. So Young Oracle is sent off into the night and Lady Saint returns to LA to warn the remaining members of Team Saint that the murderous duplicitous Teddy Reed is on the warpath and aint nobody safe. Teddy Reed: After letting his “grief” wash over him, he gets into GO mode. He warns his wife and kid, before getting to Parissa, who somehow seems giddy at the thought of life on the run with a hunted man….a hunted man with $73 milllion but still hunted nonetheless by a worthy adversary. He then goes to Ruebens house to demand that he make him coffee, threaten to out him, listen to his sob story and then have the unmitigated gall to tell him how Rueben’s presence has made him feel less lonely….THIS MUTHAFUCKA HERE. He did this all without a gun, with a gun being held on him and still managed to threaten Rueben’s whole existence and left alive. Man fuck them neighbors and what they heard….Teddy woulda got what he was looking for…. Louie and Jerome: Their story also picks up shortly after last weeks events. Jerome has slept off his drunk and wakes up to tell Louie that its all over for him. He’s done, he wants out….apparently his notion of bliss is Kingston, Jamaica – cuz thats where he tells her he’s headed. This leads Louie to share her vulnerability with him. She tells him how she feels undervalued as a leader, because she’s a woman. This is a theme thats been featured a number of times this season, and last ep Jerome even played into it asking her to leave the room so he could talk to Deon. She feels under appreciated, when in actuality, it was Louie that saved Franklin from being killed by Avi; she held the whole operation together when Franklin was in jail; she talked Skulliver off the ledge and onto the team; she expanded the operation east; she had the money and the power, she just wanted the respect, and she admits how that turned her into a monster. Jerome counters by telling her he stayed in this because he loved her, now its on her to prove her love for him by leaving this all behind. She says she needs more time…and then they get an alert that its time for her to meet Skully. Jerome tells her to take some time, he will make the drop. Louie heads off to the stables, where her me time involves – taking off her gun while Kane is looking for her – telling her security to fall back while Kane is looking for her. Im sure you all can imagine how well that worked out for her. So Kane’s folks get the drop on her and this is where the nightmare begins….. Kane’s folks take her to a garage where they party and hangout, but Louie aint there for a good time or a long time. Kane wants Buckley, possibly more than Louie, but for some reason Louie wont give him up. I’d like to think this has more to do with her not wanting to be a snitch as opposed to her not wanting to give up a crackhead, but hey, its her choice. Say what you want about Louie, she may bend but she dont break. She is abused in a myriad of ways before Kane calls the Saint to witness the brutality and offers to let Frankie finish the job. Frankie declines and asks to speak to Louie alone. He tells her to give up Buckley and then pray for a quick death, but she still aint going. She offers Teddy up to the Saint, but Oso already gave him an in so she’s worthless to him. Its the anti “hey auntie” for our girl Louie. Kane has threatened her in the way the weakest of men do: with threats of sexual violence from some of his friends “fresh out”. Franklin coldly walks out and drives away…..but them family ties be the ones that bind and he pulls over and calls Jerome, who is at the drop with Skully. He wont return his nephews pages, so The Saint has Lee hit him up and tell him whats going on…..the ANGER in that mans face holding that hamburger phone…Saint purposely give him the wrong address because he knows his Uncle’s wrath. They all meet up and now Im dropping the one lone gangsta tear at the sight of my boys all working together with SKULLY in tow. They head out to rescue Louie, who is now actually getting raped by one of Kane’s boys

Recaps

Snowflakes 6.5

Let’s take this ride, Myalogists, as we dry Unc’s one lone gangsta tear…. Wanda: Wanda Bell, you in trouble, Girl. SincereLEE is gone and LuhLee has returned, and that shit hurt like fuck. We pick right back up where we left them last week, LuhLee down but definitely not out. He done Craig’ed the Deebo of the projects and is preparing himself to assume a leadership position amongst the bitter thieves. They come to his door and demand he take over or step aside, cuz everyone got to eat. This leads Lee to hold court in the courtyard and announce his return and assert his dominance. To see Lee go from sitting in awe in our ancestral homeland to two weeks later calling people bitch ass pussies made me tear up harder than Wanda. Our dear sweet Wanda, again, why this naker got her living in the jects, where she will never again know value, love, respect or safety. Why is he doing this to her? She is fighting with all her might to maintain her sanity and he plops her back in a situation where the odds are not in her favor. Im rooting so hard for her…but now Im re-watching and Im wondering why Ms. Wanda Bell aint doing nothing to advocate for herself. She told lee she aint wanna come back, she can tell him she wanna go back. Unc: I want to call him a victim of this drug shit, but at the end of the day, aren’t we all a victim of it? SEE JAYZ’s ALLURE But in the show, he’s been the most reluctant from the start…telling franklin to beat it when he came to the crib with the key, giving louie hell when he found out about the CIA connect, pushing back on the country cousins, not REALLY wanting to kill his baby nephew etc. But money CAN be the root of all evil. Big D comes to see Louie and Jerome to demand that they not do any business with Leon and they laugh in his face and let him know business is business and Leon money spend just like his. After disrepecting Louie, D is invited by Unc to sit for a spell for a drink. They have a conversation that leads Unc to something he’s always known….this life aint for him no more and it never was. Its passing him by. The OGs gotta make way for the young bucks and the way they do things: no honor, no code, no respect. Unc takes to the streets for a glimpse of his old lifestyle and heads to his homey Hollywood’s (shouts out to queen sugar) garage where he can sip something brown, get his hands dirty and engage in what Tony Soprano calls the lowest form of conversation “remember when….” A car circling a time too many makes Hollywood and Unc take notice and Unc heads to the trunk. Hollywood stops him and tells him he gotta make it home tonight and he aint bout dis life no more. Unc, understandably hurt, drops that aforementioned gangsta tear and bids his friend farewell. He hates it. but he gets it. He is a man with a fifth in one hand, a pager in the garbage and no country to call home. THE OTHERS: EL OSO: one of a few people I pray makes it out this whole thing unscathed. After being approached by KGBRueben, he goes to Ximena to tell her the truth about everything, The CIA/DEA/KGB sandwich he is apart of and she tells him she wants no parts of a life on the run. She wants a regular life, but I fear that is out of reach for her. Oso smartly goes to Teddy Reed to tell him how Rueben approached him, a move that likely saved his life. He tells Teddy to move the duji, oops again, wrong show, the cocaine and Teddy tells him he already did. Oso then calls the DEA and tells them to hold off on the raid. Not sure how this one is gonna end, but its getting scurry. DA SAINT: my mans is full monster now huh? Aint no glimpse of that youngling with dollar signs in his eyes. Now all this time I been wondering how Young Oracle (cuz dont v’s mama look just like a young version of the oracle from Matrix) was gonna assist with getting this man’s money back and the plan has come into focus! She’s a scammer! Wigs, Hips and Lips are the order of the day as she and Lady Saint take off to Kansas City to seduce Teddy Reed’s daddy from a retirement home to a secluded cabin where The Saint will meet them as the focus of this nefarious plot comes into view. The Saint calls Teddy and lets him know whats going on and how he wants his money back NOW. Teddy feigns distinterest in his daddy, but his bluff is called. He warns The Saint that killing a CIA agents dad could be bad for his life, how blah blah blah, how woo wap de bam, how blase skippy woo and The Saint is unmoved. He tells him he has one more time to acquiesce to his request and Teddy says the wrong thing for the last time….the last time he will hear his dad’s voice….or better yet his dad’s last breath as that last excuse made The Saint slit Teddy’s dad’s throat, tell the Young Oracle and Lady Saint to beat their feet and he burned the crib down – but not before threatening Teddy’s whole existence. RIP Teddy Daddy Snowballs: – Anyone else think Unc was gonna tear that bar up when he was talking to Deon after sending Louie away?– 3rd time mentioning it, but seeing Unc cry broke my heart. – What the fuck is up with Saint Mama always talking bout not running. You wanna live? You might wanna run, fucking with Teddy Reed you

Recaps

Snowflakes 6.3 & 6.4

The superbowl, the snow, a quick trip and my reefah addiction all conspired to make one of these recaps late as hell and the other right on time…. I’d be remiss, as a fake cinemaphile (is that a word) to not mention the drop dead gorjus camera work in episode 3…The Door of No Return . That shot alone of SincereLEE looking out across the ocean brought tears to my eyes. And their wedding? Man lissen…. SincereLee: oh how our boy has grown since season 1 where he lived miles from an ocean he never saw. Now here is in Africa, along with Wanda, thriving not just surviving. He soon goes thru what seems like survivors remorse – he has a better life, a safer life, but is plagued by who and what he left behind and his role in the conditions of LA. Last season was a transformative one for him and if it transformed his spirit, it definitely left his brains out of it. What the hell Lee? I mean really. Why would you take Wanda back to the got damn projects? Crack every damn where…dont you got some money? Yall couldnt get a place? Stay at The Saint residence? Get a no-tell motel? And my GOD, bless Wanda’s SOUL…..she aint for this world no more. Im happy Cissy offered her a purpose in working at Alton’s shelter. She cant just be sitting in the projects all damned day protecting crackheads from spray paint. In my second what the hell Lee moment: why that man go fight Big D over some street lights and not over him calling your WIFE community pussy? I mean you aint kill him so clearly there’s gonna be some pushback. I get the frustration, but who you mad at Lee? Cuz it aint Big D…sounds like you shoulda took a page from your LA brethren Trey Stylez and fought the air. The Saint: ooooh im not liking seeing my G so outta control and off his square. Firstly, dont ever curse at my mom. NOT EVER. Secondly, well it aint no secondly, cuz yo ass aint finna cuss at my got damn mama. The Saint is wounded and wounded animals are scary…and I cant even blame him. After a 3’s company type ruse that involved a sec-a-terry and an old ass nikon camera, the Saint is no closer to getting his money and he cusses Lady Saints momma CLEAN OUT. He is surrounded by people he cant fully trust, as evidenced by how long he held that gun on Lee when he arrived to the door with a sack of burgers. His money is running so low, he has resorted to cooking crack again, something his Mr. Belvidere suit suggests he is light years away from doing. Another thing he aint gonna do is let this empire crumble on his watch. Jerome and Louie: Well this shit certainly hasnt calmed down at all. The couple, who also were not thrilled to see Lee nor his wedding gift, are still out for blood! They let Lee know aint no more family and it looks like they want him to heed The Saints advice and also pick a side. Benefitting from Franklin’s return to the street and the fit of righteous indignation that lead to him burning one of Kane’s folks faces, they find out where Kane is hiding. Turns out folks dont like their faces burned by folks they dont really know and that dislike will lead to them turning on folks that dont really care about their face getting burned. They dont know The Saint is there, but that woulda just been an added bonus, to have him die in the attempt on Kane’s life. Luckily for both Kane and The Saint, they manage to get the drop on the hittas and get the hell outta there. OSO and Teddy Reed: yall, I’d dont give this part of the story the attention I should so maybe when its all said and done, I will re-watch and fast forward thru The Saint parts and focus solely on Teddy Reed. Anyhoo, they went to Panama for something and then something went wrong down there and then they got on the plane and found a screw that somehow teddy reed knew to unscrew (huh, unscrewing a screw) then found a piece of paper that was written in Russian and boom pow zing, he knows about Rueben, and who Rueben works for, which one of Ruebens balls he likes tickled and where Rueben is gonna be…which at this point is on the barstool next to Oso. That damn Teddy Reed man…give him his Mensa certificate NOW. My beloved Oso is in the hardest of places….on the outs with his lady, in bed with the DEA to bring down Teddy Redd and being courted by the KGB for the same reasons as the DEA and he’s got 24 hours to make something happen. I do not envy this man at all. SNOWBALLS: – COOK NIGGA! I fucking LURVE when The Saint gets to hollering at people – How Kane and The Saint know that car was coming up the alley was a friendly one? – Again, dont curse at my mama– Leon, you betta have a plan cuz Craig was still hiding from Debo after kicking his ass in the street– Wanda. if this man dont find you betta living accommodations, then leave his ass.– Im glad that alot of scenes that were in the trailer breakdown are coming out in the early episodes – at this point we just need to see the house burning down scene. Whatchall think?

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