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Author name: Mya

Culturess of Pop

MySCREENalogy

Snowflakes 6.5

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Let’s take this ride, Myalogists, as we dry Unc’s one lone gangsta tear…. Wanda: Wanda Bell, you in trouble, Girl. SincereLEE is gone and LuhLee has returned, and that shit hurt like fuck. We pick right back up where we left them last week, LuhLee down but definitely not out. He done Craig’ed the Deebo of the projects and is preparing himself to assume a leadership position amongst the bitter thieves. They come to his door and demand he take over or step aside, cuz everyone got to eat. This leads Lee to hold court in the courtyard and announce his return and assert his dominance. To see Lee go from sitting in awe in our ancestral homeland to two weeks later calling people bitch ass pussies made me tear up harder than Wanda. Our dear sweet Wanda, again, why this naker got her living in the jects, where she will never again know value, love, respect or safety. Why is he doing this to her? She is fighting with all her might to maintain her sanity and he plops her back in a situation where the odds are not in her favor. Im rooting so hard for her…but now Im re-watching and Im wondering why Ms. Wanda Bell aint doing nothing to advocate for herself. She told lee she aint wanna come back, she can tell him she wanna go back. Unc: I want to call him a victim of this drug shit, but at the end of the day, aren’t we all a victim of it? SEE JAYZ’s ALLURE But in the show, he’s been the most reluctant from the start…telling franklin to beat it when he came to the crib with the key, giving louie hell when he found out about the CIA connect, pushing back on the country cousins, not REALLY wanting to kill his baby nephew etc. But money CAN be the root of all evil. Big D comes to see Louie and Jerome to demand that they not do any business with Leon and they laugh in his face and let him know business is business and Leon money spend just like his. After disrepecting Louie, D is invited by Unc to sit for a spell for a drink. They have a conversation that leads Unc to something he’s always known….this life aint for him no more and it never was. Its passing him by. The OGs gotta make way for the young bucks and the way they do things: no honor, no code, no respect. Unc takes to the streets for a glimpse of his old lifestyle and heads to his homey Hollywood’s (shouts out to queen sugar) garage where he can sip something brown, get his hands dirty and engage in what Tony Soprano calls the lowest form of conversation “remember when….” A car circling a time too many makes Hollywood and Unc take notice and Unc heads to the trunk. Hollywood stops him and tells him he gotta make it home tonight and he aint bout dis life no more. Unc, understandably hurt, drops that aforementioned gangsta tear and bids his friend farewell. He hates it. but he gets it. He is a man with a fifth in one hand, a pager in the garbage and no country to call home. THE OTHERS: EL OSO: one of a few people I pray makes it out this whole thing unscathed. After being approached by KGBRueben, he goes to Ximena to tell her the truth about everything, The CIA/DEA/KGB sandwich he is apart of and she tells him she wants no parts of a life on the run. She wants a regular life, but I fear that is out of reach for her. Oso smartly goes to Teddy Reed to tell him how Rueben approached him, a move that likely saved his life. He tells Teddy to move the duji, oops again, wrong show, the cocaine and Teddy tells him he already did. Oso then calls the DEA and tells them to hold off on the raid. Not sure how this one is gonna end, but its getting scurry. DA SAINT: my mans is full monster now huh? Aint no glimpse of that youngling with dollar signs in his eyes. Now all this time I been wondering how Young Oracle (cuz dont v’s mama look just like a young version of the oracle from Matrix) was gonna assist with getting this man’s money back and the plan has come into focus! She’s a scammer! Wigs, Hips and Lips are the order of the day as she and Lady Saint take off to Kansas City to seduce Teddy Reed’s daddy from a retirement home to a secluded cabin where The Saint will meet them as the focus of this nefarious plot comes into view. The Saint calls Teddy and lets him know whats going on and how he wants his money back NOW. Teddy feigns distinterest in his daddy, but his bluff is called. He warns The Saint that killing a CIA agents dad could be bad for his life, how blah blah blah, how woo wap de bam, how blase skippy woo and The Saint is unmoved. He tells him he has one more time to acquiesce to his request and Teddy says the wrong thing for the last time….the last time he will hear his dad’s voice….or better yet his dad’s last breath as that last excuse made The Saint slit Teddy’s dad’s throat, tell the Young Oracle and Lady Saint to beat their feet and he burned the crib down – but not before threatening Teddy’s whole existence. RIP Teddy Daddy Snowballs: – Anyone else think Unc was gonna tear that bar up when he was talking to Deon after sending Louie away?– 3rd time mentioning it, but seeing Unc cry broke my heart. – What the fuck is up with Saint Mama always talking bout not running. You wanna live? You might wanna run, fucking with Teddy Reed you

MySCREENalogy

Snowflakes 6.3 & 6.4

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The superbowl, the snow, a quick trip and my reefah addiction all conspired to make one of these recaps late as hell and the other right on time…. I’d be remiss, as a fake cinemaphile (is that a word) to not mention the drop dead gorjus camera work in episode 3…The Door of No Return . That shot alone of SincereLEE looking out across the ocean brought tears to my eyes. And their wedding? Man lissen…. SincereLee: oh how our boy has grown since season 1 where he lived miles from an ocean he never saw. Now here is in Africa, along with Wanda, thriving not just surviving. He soon goes thru what seems like survivors remorse – he has a better life, a safer life, but is plagued by who and what he left behind and his role in the conditions of LA. Last season was a transformative one for him and if it transformed his spirit, it definitely left his brains out of it. What the hell Lee? I mean really. Why would you take Wanda back to the got damn projects? Crack every damn where…dont you got some money? Yall couldnt get a place? Stay at The Saint residence? Get a no-tell motel? And my GOD, bless Wanda’s SOUL…..she aint for this world no more. Im happy Cissy offered her a purpose in working at Alton’s shelter. She cant just be sitting in the projects all damned day protecting crackheads from spray paint. In my second what the hell Lee moment: why that man go fight Big D over some street lights and not over him calling your WIFE community pussy? I mean you aint kill him so clearly there’s gonna be some pushback. I get the frustration, but who you mad at Lee? Cuz it aint Big D…sounds like you shoulda took a page from your LA brethren Trey Stylez and fought the air. The Saint: ooooh im not liking seeing my G so outta control and off his square. Firstly, dont ever curse at my mom. NOT EVER. Secondly, well it aint no secondly, cuz yo ass aint finna cuss at my got damn mama. The Saint is wounded and wounded animals are scary…and I cant even blame him. After a 3’s company type ruse that involved a sec-a-terry and an old ass nikon camera, the Saint is no closer to getting his money and he cusses Lady Saints momma CLEAN OUT. He is surrounded by people he cant fully trust, as evidenced by how long he held that gun on Lee when he arrived to the door with a sack of burgers. His money is running so low, he has resorted to cooking crack again, something his Mr. Belvidere suit suggests he is light years away from doing. Another thing he aint gonna do is let this empire crumble on his watch. Jerome and Louie: Well this shit certainly hasnt calmed down at all. The couple, who also were not thrilled to see Lee nor his wedding gift, are still out for blood! They let Lee know aint no more family and it looks like they want him to heed The Saints advice and also pick a side. Benefitting from Franklin’s return to the street and the fit of righteous indignation that lead to him burning one of Kane’s folks faces, they find out where Kane is hiding. Turns out folks dont like their faces burned by folks they dont really know and that dislike will lead to them turning on folks that dont really care about their face getting burned. They dont know The Saint is there, but that woulda just been an added bonus, to have him die in the attempt on Kane’s life. Luckily for both Kane and The Saint, they manage to get the drop on the hittas and get the hell outta there. OSO and Teddy Reed: yall, I’d dont give this part of the story the attention I should so maybe when its all said and done, I will re-watch and fast forward thru The Saint parts and focus solely on Teddy Reed. Anyhoo, they went to Panama for something and then something went wrong down there and then they got on the plane and found a screw that somehow teddy reed knew to unscrew (huh, unscrewing a screw) then found a piece of paper that was written in Russian and boom pow zing, he knows about Rueben, and who Rueben works for, which one of Ruebens balls he likes tickled and where Rueben is gonna be…which at this point is on the barstool next to Oso. That damn Teddy Reed man…give him his Mensa certificate NOW. My beloved Oso is in the hardest of places….on the outs with his lady, in bed with the DEA to bring down Teddy Redd and being courted by the KGB for the same reasons as the DEA and he’s got 24 hours to make something happen. I do not envy this man at all. SNOWBALLS: – COOK NIGGA! I fucking LURVE when The Saint gets to hollering at people – How Kane and The Saint know that car was coming up the alley was a friendly one? – Again, dont curse at my mama– Leon, you betta have a plan cuz Craig was still hiding from Debo after kicking his ass in the street– Wanda. if this man dont find you betta living accommodations, then leave his ass.– Im glad that alot of scenes that were in the trailer breakdown are coming out in the early episodes – at this point we just need to see the house burning down scene. Whatchall think?

MySCREENalogy

Snowflakes 6.1 & 6.2

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Here we are kiddos….the final chapter of the magnum opus of Franklin Saint and it started off with a bang and two bitch slaps so lets get into it…. Firstly there are a couple of things I’d like to discuss from my trailer breakdown – which included a lot of shots from the premiere eps. Franklin aint dead – yet and Lady Saint aint in the skreets wailing over him. Franklin is Vee’s man and she gonna stick beside him…and them 73million dollars. KGB meet South Central. South Central meet KGB. We now know who this is and exactly what she is crying about. DAMN UNC. And lawd, lawdy, lawd, lawd, lawd…..the two bitchslaps heard round the world led to this moment. Unc aint even ball a fist up. Anyhoo, on to some thoughts…. SNOWBALLS! Mama Saint shole came on strong then started back pedaling when it came time to tell Franklin to ride with the KGB…..WHO YOU WIT SAINT or whatever the hell she said. LOL How many times Lady Saint gonna ask that man if he loved her without once saying it in return….Actions tho…she got her ass on that flight to miami and reached out to her pretty ass momma so its def love mixed with disappointment there. SincereLEE and Wanda made it to Africa! Unc, unc, unc…..seemed like he was willing to try and sympathize or empathize with Franklin til Louie told him he pulled a gun on her. Them eyes turned cold and black. As if the stealing wasnt enough, Franklin tried to cut out the folks that cut him out and one of his hitters paid an ugly assed price. I was left wondering why the security aint have security but thats just the mind of a lowly blogger at work. Bunkie may be a dopefiend, but got damn if he aint useful. Kane is up and looking for vengence. Awwwwww, Sculliver (my name for him) is so peaceful and zen now and all it took was the murder of his child and her mother. We love a redemption arc! Yall know I loves my reefah, but riddle me this: Aint black diamond dead? Tell her kids and tell ya ol lady Saint! SHOUTS OUT TO THE CHEESEBURGER PHONE! The season trailer got me amped….lll be here – allegedly – next week….whatchall think?

MySTYLEalogy

RHOP Reunion Looks: The Hue is Blue

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DC/DMV yall gots to do better. I just really dont understand the lack of great fashion sense…I know not you and your girls, yall good, but since thats the case, offense should be the only thing you feel at how those that represent you on a national stage come out the house. From Robyn’s horrid printer streaked hair at the yellow one, or one of the earliest ones where Gizelle came out with a toupee/bang/fall sitting straggely upon her head – and Im not even gonna start on the casts from Ready for Love east coast locales – yall aint even on the fashion struggle bus, yall got ran over by it. Let’s get into the RHOP Reunion, the blue hue edition…. Lets take this thing clockwise….starting with…. GIZGOTDAMZELLE i was gonna start this thing off with real class, showing only each person’s official picture, but this shit here killed me. And its just so freaking accurate. I legitimately laughed out loud for bout 30 seconds. This lady is so gorgeous to me….but somehow the sense of taste is non existenent here. Her homes, her wigs, she somehow made a cute lil gucci trimmed car look very uncute….its all so off. The labels are there, if thats a thing for you – but they are all the things that make you say, “she just got that cuz it says…..” This is yet another miss for me in a long line of misses for me when its comes to Ms. Bryant. Its very 80s and not in a good way, the pagent hair, the shoulder pads, the length of the split, the placement and width of the rhinestones….ick ugh blah no. If retro was the desired aesthetic, why not go for it? Find you a Bob Mackie, girl! Also, the number of rows of stones dffers on the arms…ugly and poorly made? Its a big fucking HELL NO. ASHLEY Ashley has escaped the bondage of her creepy rapey husband as well as the bondage of most of her clothes. From the neck up its very chic. We dont ever see her with short hair cept for that one confessional with that tired mama joyce wig. The rest of her seems designed to elict a response. Its a bra with a skirt attached and I bet that bra was eating her skin UP. Doesnt seem like something you would want rubbing against you all day. Its fine for what it is and who it is….I wouldnt wear it nor style anyone in it. Ive seen her look cuter at reunions and Ive seen her look worse. CANDIACE My personal people champ – say what you want about this one here, her mouth, her triangle tear dabber, her over contoured nose, but what you aint gonna do is come for her marriage and I loved to see it. She summarily dismissed both Neck and Sesame Street when they both tried to come for her man. No storyline here, no maam. And she’s one of the few HW with actual talent that is doing something with it – neither of which has anything to do with this dress, but I just wanted to put that out there. I am always here for a feather moment and this time is no different. All the glam of RHOA, with none of the tack of RHOP. Its soooo over the top and dramatic, I DIEEEEEEEEEEEE. I do wonder why the designer made the decision to stop the feathers and go with the nude bodice, but I still really like this look. Neck up is old hollywood, which is a timeless choice. Pretty sure this is my fave. ROBYN OKAY, Ms Girl, who earlier this season wore a oufit consisting of a men’s cut cropped tee, some bikin’ shorts, and block heeled sandals, either knocks it out the park with her reunion looks (hello soft pink reunion), or misses aint even the fucking word (hello printer hair yellow). This is a definite hit for me. Fresh simple Makeup, appropriate rhinestone placement on the dress, clean lines…its def my style. Robyn looks very nice here. Love it for her. She should permanently hire whoever put this on her. CHARISSE This lady gives me so much sad trombone. Nothing is a try and fail, its just a flat out fail. Im a fan of doing whatever to your body you want, but no one told her getting those huge tits was gonna broaden the fuck outta you? They look sloppy and heavy and thank god she covered them up every episode with white cotton tees like the queen of potomac they say she is. This dress is mundane, nothing to even note….just like her appearance this season. MIA I hate illusion mesh. HATE IT. That being said, its used sparingly here and I guess its fine. The whole look is just fine. Its pagentry wear. Nice make up. Simple hair. Appropriate accessories. Moving on….. WENDY This dress is perfect for Ms. Wendy – its her personified, trying to be too many things to too many people. I see some Zen Wen in there, some Dr. Wen, some Candle Wen and some think-imma-be-the-one-bravo-celeb-with-a-successful-restaurant-even-tho-I-partnered-with-Peter Thomas-Wen up in there too. Where do I start with this utter monstrosity? The pearls on the bodice or the hanging peals on the skirt? The inexplicable pale pink corset that bleeds into a pantie girdle of white? The too many blues of hue fighting each other for space? Seems like whatever that is sticking up off her shoulder will stick her in her face or get stuck on an earring or lock of weave. Its a mess. But she is the fairest of them all….Wendy Osefo is stunning…her dress is not. KAREN HUMBLEBRAG: the same designer that made this dress also designed my wedding jumper, she is a wonderful talented young black woman named Chasity Sereal. She also designed the winning look on her season of Project Runway, for which she was paired with Karen, so

MySCREENalogy

BMF-ers

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YEP. Lets slide on the D….Detroit ya filthy animals. So after skipping the first season as myalogists know i am wont do to, lets start here. Meech: is a one man leadership Team now that Terry is fully part of a transportation company with his dumb ass daddy (more on him later) and HE’S A DADDY! Him and KashDoll done made a cute lil girl!!! YAY! One person who I do not think will be happy about this is Lamar, Kash’s first baby daddy who we were lead to believe was dead at the end of last season. But nope…here he is, nearly dead, but with enough strength to incapacitate an able bodied policeman, slip out a hospital unnoticed whilst leaving a trail of blood, stagger down the road in a hospital gown in the rain, and hey, I guess you cant stop the rain and the rain cant stop his ass either, before running into his cousin, a mortician. Cuzzo rehabs him, and lets him steal a dead man’s shoes before, attempting to end Meech, who was on his way to a set up meet designed by Cop Harris to bring him down. The hospital is a great deal better than prison. Meech’s other storyline deals with his new plug “K9” – a ruthless assed mofo who cut the mouth off of the last plug. This week he wants Meech to bring a rival to him alive…a rival that is fucking his old lady…but that aint the reason. Like most civilized peole K9 dont like loud mouthy people. So he sets Meech out to bring his rival back to him – alive – and meech can get the duji…oops wrong show and time period….the dope. Meech gets the drop on him, and a shoot out follows which leaves the prize lifeless. Meech returns the body to K9 who tells him he needs to learn to follow directions and their businesss has now concluded. Terry: can we talk about him yall? Like this boy does alot of shit to still be in high school. Like really, Charles? You gonna be talking corporate strategy with your son and then tell him to do his home work? Terry is at least 40 yrs old, the jig is up. Terry is all into the car business, innovating new procedures and practices, as well as being all up into the artist formerly known as lala aka TAFKAL. I always hear tales of men talking bout how when they lost their virginity they were 12 and the woman was 27 and I always wanna barf..who are these women and who hurt yall? Thats predatory AF and TAFKAL is a grown married woman with children playing girlfriend to a high school, I hope – senior. On to the show, Terry made a powerful enemy out of a man who runs the airport bidness and gets one of the car company’s car’s tires slashed. Denise, who recently joined the company is down for a little street retribution and her and Terry sugar the tanks like the bad bitches they are and fuck with the brakes on airport boss’s car. They follow him one night and the brakes fail…the car and him, as him and his big brother pull his ass out the car and beat the brakes off of him. Problem solved, right? The Flenory’s: man if charles dont get his bitch ass outta here…done went and fixed someone else’s home while your home looking like the before on an HGTV show, and got the nerve to dance with the whore. Now I know ya old lady done confided in pastor Big Wig and that seemed to be a bridge too far, but like Lucille said, he is a man of God and posed to be their spiritual leader and if opening a credit card in your daughters name and buying a maxi negligee that got all our grannie’s bills paid aint helping, maybe a word from the passa will…spoiler alert: it did not. Charles done threatened Passa Big Wig to stay out his bidness, a request that has been granted for now. Find a new place for them adult mags, nicka! BMick and The Cop: man if bmick dont kill this fool soon. Isnt it great how fucked up we are AS A PEOPLE (my fave phrase ever), just like Andre on Snowfall, we hear how a policeman is bemoaning the deterioration of their community and we be like FUCK DA POLICE…i love us forreal. But seriously….the cop be sneaking up like a god damn whisper in the wind…there to light b’s squares and everything! Like dont you have a home? A wife? A bitch? ANY DAMNED THING? He puts the screws on bmick to have him lure meech to a meet where he will promptly be arrested. The cop watches from afar, waiting for bmick to lead meech to the meet, when bmick jumps out the car like he is making a phone call…not sure what he wanted the outcome of that to be, but its enough time for Lamar to roll up and blast meech….the Flenory family will yet again be praying for one of their own to make it out alive….which spoiler alert, according to many good homies in the A, he does. Whatchall think? Lucille gonna give it up to Pastor Big Wig? Charles gonna keep dancing with Ms. Parker? Is Lala gonna become a sexual predator? Lets all tune in next week and find out!

MySCREENalogy

Inmatesanity: Stories of Love and Lockup

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Im adding a new couple, cuz they kicked it up a notch. I be on too much issa rae and rooting for everyone black, when I should be rooting for everyone ratchet. COME WITH ME! My champ is going thru a hard time. His children and family are headed back to Rhode Island and he is on probation, i believe they said 20 years and so seeing them as often as he would like is going to prove challenging. Sidenote: does anyone else take note of how Juju emotes when she speaks to other people or in her confessionals? Its like she’s trying to seduce you with her eyes and neck, like headfucking you…its something. Anyway, Juju has a conversation with his mom and sisters and it seems like everything will be okay….at least for now. If not, hey, at least they have their matching outfits. the delusion continues…..she thinks this naker aint gonna drink in a studio session. lol, girl have you ever been in a studio? an old friend was a rapper during my early 20s and the amount of time we spent in that damn studio watching men get drunk and high – we should be criminally charged for wasting our youth. Anyway…they are in route to the studio when she warns him she dont wanna see one bottle of patron and when she gets there, she doesnt….she sees 50 bottles of patron. She’s clearly disgusted but not too disgusted to go suit shopping for him to wear to their midnight wedding – TOMORROW. Another side note: why are all these people so pressed to get married so quickly?! These people cant even leave the state and you wanna be legally connected to them? OKAY GWORLS. Anyhoo…they also meet Derek’s sisters at the suit shop and can I just say, I LOVE HIS SISTERS. So fun, so funny, non judgemental….they recognize game, but have nothing to say bout it, cuz they love their brother and shit, if someone wants to marry his crazy ass, let them. So the couple that should have been pulled from this show due to his nefarious attack on her, is still here. Wasting our time. Like Mike and Derek this week, its time for Chris to check in with his P.O. So Jar Jar Binks walks out the apartment he shares with Gabby and HIS car she said was in the shop, is now conveniently parked right outside their place. He rightfully calls Gabby down to explain, cuz damn his appointment with his parole officer. She comes down and does the gabby two step, deflect & blame, then scream before she announces her secret….she aint got no license and her bhad bharbie ass put her hands on an off duty cop and she’s facing felony charges. Chris understands and wonders why she aint share with him. She goes to see her lawyer and discusses all her bullshit with him, before inquiring about divorces that she will never need cuz she got married in an alley, which im sure aint legally binding, not because of the location, but do we really think anyone in this couple filed some paperwork? So, this is one of the couple’s I’d initally omitted. One because I saw a scene that gave me the heebie jeebies cuz a room was full of all his meemaws old shit and it was straight out of Hoarders. But this week, they went on their first official date…and what did ol Skylar do to her man that she admitted was jealous? She took a facetime call at the dinner table….from a man. Nathan was triggered but he, skylar and her gentleman caller all played it wrong. Nathan threw a temper tantrum – WRONG, snatched her phone – WRONG, hung up on old boy -WRONG, who kept calling back – WRONG, calls that Nathan kept answering – WRONG. Nathan eventually got sick of it all and stomped off demanding that Skylar join him – WRONG, which she refused – THE ONLY RIGHT ACTION. So she stayed behind and he does what most psychopaths do when they exit stage left – they start blowing ya phone up. She answers right in time for some “stranger” to come over and offer a shot, which makes Nathan bust a righteous ‘u-eee’ right back to the scene of the crime so he knows that skylar knows that he aint a bitch…sorry nathan, thou doth protestest too much or whatever shakespeare said. what yall think?

MySCREENalogy

Snowflakes: The Teaser

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yall. the trailer dropped recently and I screamed and I wanted to fcuk it. Yeah, the trailer. I wanted to have sex with the trailer…..saint, his broski luhlee, unc, louie, Cissy AND even her mole. I want it all and I want it now! (sorry mom and big guy if that paragraph offended…) If you don’t wanna see nothing read nothing know nothing bout this season, why did you click on this story? Everyone else, leggo! This aint too long after the events of last season….the baby is still cooking. Saint V done got all glammed up! Whose face is The Saint burning? Is this Franklin’s childhood home he done burnt up? Oso is FREEEEEEE and doing handoffs with Louie. Cissy made good on that Cuban KGB connect. 2 ppl dead in the street, one with a dark skinned hand and I think that’s Saint V crying in the streets, but I can’t be sure. Who the hell is this? Franklin is in a crib that gets shot the fuck up. Unc and Louie canceling someone’s Christmas….SN: where the fuck is Power: Tommy? NO FRANKLIN PUT DOWN THE GUN!!! whatchall think? yall ready? did I miss anything? Oh, I saw a pic of someone with what I think is their mouth cut off (could be just something stuffed in his mouth) but I have the eyesight of Benny from Harlem Nights….soooooo…… if you too wanna get fucked by a tv show’s preview…and take that how you want to, click here. See yall the week of 2/22!

MySCREENalogy

Inmatesanity: Stories of Love and Lockups

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or something like that…..the name may change. Let’s do some Love After Lockup, shall we? Where to start…where to start? We a couple of episodes into it and like they say, there is no place like home….my sweet home, Chicago. Monique and Derek: Monique is from what is clearly the WESTSIDE of Chicago, like my good friend Stephanie and old boy that wore the Blue Suit TM with the sleeve tag from a couple of seasons prior. WHAT UP BIG TRICE?! Ahem, Monique is a plus sized a vet hospital worker and her diminutive boyfriend Derek was one of the biggest got damn drug dealers in New Yo, i mean Cleveland that’s coming off a maaaaaaaaaaaaaybe 6 year bid. She catfishes him, only sending heavily filtered face down pics, that while clearly indicating her size, didn’t fully reveal her actual shape. Lovingly, Derek didn’t seem and still doesn’t seem to mind. A wardrobe full of designer shit couldn’t have hurt things. Nor could a $500 assed dinner tab. Listen, I’ve sat down at the county – a whole 30 hour stretch and all I could dream of was an orange drank from McDonalds – so I get cravings. But this naker here…this naker ordered everything on the menu…lobster, king crab legs, lamb chops, steaks and yall know them sides be giraffe vagine high on them menus. AND THEN had the nerve to tell her to hit the ATM so they can go to the casino. She’s clearly got some insecurities, coupled with control issues and she weaponizes her tears oh and she’s beefing with internet star funky dineva and Derek’s trans sister Elizabeth, who we were lead to believe is following Derek and Mo, as the show went off. Prognosis: hey they still together currently. So, I’d say the prognosis is pretty good, but the ride gonna be fun. Justine and Mike: full disclosure, this is my favorite couple of all seasons and its been like 20 seasons of this show and its various iterations. Their relationship seems very grounded in something real and he’s been showing up for her when it counts. Like a lot of families where men aren’t always present, the son becomes the focal point and emotional center and it can prove to be troubling for any romantic interests. NOT THIS TIME. They married while he was in jail and she’s that man’s WIFE. His Mama overstepped at a family party and he quickly got her together. While a bit too precious for me, they dress like alike often – I can’t front on what they showing right now. Prognosis: he’s a pretty talented rapper/artist and juju aint bout that image life buy like Derek and Mo, they still together. Aris and Cameron: dudes a daystar sized rapper that loves trouble. She’s a seemingly, nice albeit stupid person that wants to marry a man that got sent back to prison for failing a breathalyzer test while in a halfway house….but yeah, she trusts him to get it right and be an upstanding dude now. Just as long as he doesnt fuck the strippers he’s planning to have at his video shoots. They don’t show them a lot so I aint got much to say about them. He’s a drunk and she makes bad choices in men. Prognosis: Ive seen pics of the wedding, and they will be on the next version of this show, so lets see how we get there and what follows. Chris and gabby. Let me just say this once so we can get It out the way. I find Chris to be very unattractive like very…..like couldn’t be more…..like it makes me make a face when I see his face….and hey I may bring out the same emotion in him, but we talking bout me and my perspective is that this dude is very unattractive. Gabby is a kardashian knock off who spent 60k on a bwm, an apartment, and numerous cosmetic surgeries including vaginal tightening, even tho she keeps professin she aint fucked nobody in 5 yrs….okay girl. The 60k came from a lawsuit Chris won against the penal system in NYC after catching a beatdown while in custody. Now he got out, married gabby in a fucking alley, consummated it in a public bathroom, got dropped off at the halfway house, got caught talking to chicks, got abandoned by gabby once he got out before she let him come to the house, where he told her he wanted the box and got relagated to the couch for the night. Prognosis: flatline . He is back in jail after horrifically beating gabby. There are other couples whose scenes I forward thru, I may pay attention if things seem spicy…. yall watching? whatchall think?

MyWANDERalogy

Golden Con: T.Y.F.B.A.F.

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So those of you that know me, KNOW how much this shit here meant to me. This past weekend, I attended the first ever Golden Girls convention – Golden Con: Thank You For Being A Fan. From the moment it was announced, I knew I was going to be there….ended up buying an early bird ticket back in February and sat back and awaited all the golden greatness that would soon be thrust upon me. The Golden Girls was and remains an integral part of my life. To experience jokes as child, then a teenager, then an adult and now damn near a peer is not an accomplishment affored many television shows – but the golden girls is damn near in a class by itself when it comes to being as pervasive in the culture as it is. What’s especially mind blowing to me is how it addressed the same major social issues that we are still dealing with today: AIDS (rose), Drug Abuse (rose), Racism (dorothy), Same Sex Marriage (blanche), single mothers (blanche), immigration (dorothy), ageism (rose + sophia), sidechicks (blanche + fidel + sophia -lol) hell, even something I think we all must have or have had at some point: Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (dorothy)! I honestly believe that at least one episode of it spoke directly to what a viewer was and is going thru – then and now. Thats a span of almost 40 years…if not 40 already. So yeah, I rolled up to Navy Pier on a preternaturally warm spring day in this city of wind and gangstas and promptly smiled as I was greeted by these chicks. As I walked further in the hall, i checked in with registration, got my “cuter than an intrauterine” (live nakers respect it) one day pass. Looked to my right and saw the very welcoming sign: Looked around further and saw the main hall where speeches and keynotes were taking place. Moving on…..but before I do, let me tell you, the organizers of this event, left NO stone unturned….the panel of speakers was phenomenal, it was just 80 degrees that day and I had zero desire to listen to lectures…I was ready to get into the game!As Im walking around in my black ass jogging suit, Im starting to feel bad. I mean some of these people were serious! So I made it my mission to find the vendor area and at least throw on a tshirt or dorothy wig or something…..up the stairs I go, to get greeted again by this beautiful assed sign. Walked around a bit and asked the security guard what that long assed line was for….she told me “the couch was on the other side of the wall” LAWD. JESUS. Just then I heard “Mya!” and turned around and saw Cuzzin Beth, who was two people from the front of the line. The folks shot daggers of hatred from their eyes as I embraced my dear sweet cuzzin, and promptly cut them in the line. So we get to the front of the line and it happens. Im euphoric at this point and we, Me, Cuzzin Beth and Beth’s REAL Cousin, finally make it over to the vendor area and its cool….a makeshift bar, with drinks named after our girls, a fan vendor, tshirt vendors, book vendors and then I saw this pic. Then I gasped…and shrieked….and then this happened. Well knock me over and call me judy. (i dunno, no idea what that means). After being serenaded and hugged (hey covid just ended huh, cool) Aaron, we got a few paces down and there was the sight of the consumption of probably 400 cheesecakes, the kitchen set. Man lissen…… So after that buzz wore down, Beth correctly asserted that being there was like being at coachella, nice and enjoyable, but there for the pics if not the music. I had to agree. As much as I loved being there in that world and feeling the love from other fans, I learned something about myself. Im just a true, blue fan, not a superone. I have no desire to hear how the actor that played Gil Kessler felt standing next to Rue McClanahan but I do know that Mr. Kessler was born Anna Maria Bonaduce, mild mannered housewife and part time stenographer. Thanks for everything Zack and Brendan, it was Golden. <3

MySCREENalogy

Snowfall 5.10 – Fault Lines

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Hello again, goys and birls. Remember me? The one that said she was going to write consistently about Snowfall? Well I fucked that up, but its not entirely my fault. Well it is, but its only because I was mad about: Franklin knocking a chick up. About the two eps we spent with a tiger About how teddy reed fell for a chick, that I’d never seen before so hard that he got distracted. Franklin knocking a chick up. So I was not a good steward of this penultimate season, but after last night’s finale, I felt compelled to write. Forreal, every couple of seconds once I heard the phrase “73 million dollars” my mouth dropped open. I legit could not breathe once “In the Air Tonight” came on til Andre Young told me how I was bout to witness the strength of street knowledge. BRAVISSIMA! This last ep and the one that preceded it were so fucking good it made up for the middle part of the season, which admittedly wasnt my favorite. One of the co-creators said he wanted to focus on character development, so that when the last and finale season airs, folks wont be all “daenarys wouldnt change that quickly” aka the rise of Louie. But baaaaaaaaaaaaaaybeeeeeee, that next to last ep, when Queen of the South Central LA told The Saint that she went to Teddy Reed and it wasnt no hard feelings bout it, when we all knew the hard feelings would be present the rest of this ride we on. But not only because she iced The Saint out the game, but also because she went rogue and took out a hit on Kane, that went horribly wrong. Kane lost a soldier, but not his own life which means he will live to see another day to avenge this attempted murder. Speaking of horribly wrong, I dont know if having a coked out former cop on your team is the best, but it worked out for Louie last night. Let’s see where everyone is as of this morning: UNC: Blissfully loved up, if no longer LSDfully loved up – shouts out to Skully for just getting them all high instead of killing them. Thanks Skulls! – Anyway, Unc is full of love for his community (for a hot second), for his money and for the love of his life Louie. Seems like at this point all he wants is whatever Louie wants, which in my mind, means he’s gonna die – especially if he is based on Daff. Sorry Unc. Leon and Wanda: Sin and Tboz done went off to Africa, yall! Wanda off the rock and so is Leon. Im reminded of Shawn Corey Carter’s magnum opus “Allure” where he talks about the addiction to selling drugs as well as the addiction to taking them. They both were in love with it in different ways and we all saw them taking steps to leave it behind them. Luhlee was a boy in season one that had never seen the ocean and is now trying to minister to the hood about minimum sentencing guidelines and midterm elections. GROWTH. And Ms. Wanda fought off the drugs and became so successful at recovery that she took residence in the Saint home and in his business, before taking a leave of absence to accompany Luhlee to Africa. I wish these two kids the best, although a return to South Central seems likely. Veroniqughhhhhhhhhhhh: okay so she’s pretty smart and seems like the perfect person for the Saint if not too similiar in looks to his mother, which gross, but….she’s in his corner unlike Manboy’s girl Tallahasseniqua or whoever. She’s got a law degree, some shady shit in her background and was ready to go to war with her baby daddy. Also she still has his bun in her oven. Interested to see what long lost person she connected with over the phone, who she thinks will be of help to our, I mean her man. AVI DREXLER: Rest in all the muthafuckin Peace, my guy. I think we knew from ep 9 that Avi wasnt long for this world and he probably did too. From the time he wanted to shoot Franklin in the chest for daring to try to enter his world, I loved Avi. Even when he tried to rob the Saint, I still loved him cuz the Saint did too. Avi was always there for Franklin with some sage financial advice or an uzi, didnt matter. While I hate the way he got played in the end, at least it will bring some heat down on Teddy Reed, who I officially hate now. Teddy Reed: man lissen, I barely know whats going on with this guy when Im watching the show, but I do know he’s a motherfucker. After cutting Franklin off and then shaking Franklin’s hand as he tendered his resignation, he steals all of Franklin’s money! SEVENTY THREE MILL, man fuck it, I cant even type that shit. I wanted to projectile vomit when I heard the amount that he stole. Then because Oso aint wanna do whatever the hell Teddy wanted him to do, he sicced the DEA on Oso, who aint never did nuffin to nobody! That shit pissed me off….Teddy Reed gotta go….to wherever Martin sent Parissa. When we left him, he was in trouble and trying to get the CIA back on his team. Oso: in jail as of this morning. Locked up by a hateful, vengeful DEA agent. Turned in by Teddy Reed’s bitch ass. He was on his way to happily ever after with ol girl who just showed up and her kids. But noooooooooooooo, and Franklin tried to warn him, but Oso wanted no parts of double crossing the not still employed by the government Teddy. And look what happened….threw the last bag of money in his truck and the DEA rolled up. I hate this. HATE THIS. Louie: Gave the Saint the kiss of

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