Melania See, Melania Do

RNC is going down in the town of Cleveland.  I think most of us thinking folks expected nothing of worth or note to occur.  Racism, racism, hillary is a liar, barack aint do shit, racism and just for good measure, a little more racism.  A list of “why the fuck would anyone wanna hear their thoughts” speakers was released:

Chaci “the former first lady, future president is a cunt” Baio  (note: hey tam, I see you girl!  Do WERK.)

Duck Dynasty “my dad said youre a fag in public, I just say it in private” Dude

Steve “only white people accomplish great things” King

Rick “i cant think of the third agency I will close when elected president” Perry

This dude who had a problem with Michelle Obama wanting children to have healthy lunches instead of ones that will make them look like him:

Antonio Sabato Jr. who revealed himself to be the walking embodiment of the phrase “just another pretty face” when he opined on how Barack Obama must be a muslim, because his name doesnt sound Christian, while ignoring the fact that Sabato doesnt sound American, which means he….must….not….be…..

and Melania, long suffering wife of the inexplicable Republican nominee, who has done and said everything on Earth to get racist white folks and mouth breathers to not vote for him.  I wasnt expecting much.  Just another boring vanilla speech, with coded language about making America great again.  And I was right.  It was a boring assed speech.  Ill tell you this about me:  I HATE SPEECHES.  You have about 5 minutes of talking to me before I zone out.  I’ve gotten through exactly zero State of The Unions during Black Jesus’s tenure and he is an ORATOR!  I struggled mightily thru his first speech on race, which was important, and I retained most of it – amazingly.  Melania gives her speech, and by now you know it was nothing short of amazing.  Not cuz it was amazing, but because she stole portions of it from Mrs. Michelle Obama’s address to the 2008 DNC.  Yeah, she pulled it and we gave her what she was looking for.  The interwebz can be a magical place.  The day after Jay got kungfu’d in the elevator was a particularly amazing time.  Zola’s prostitution whore roadtrip.  Harambe’s unfortunate end.  How we made Jordans crying face more famous than his last shot, when he pushed off ol boy.  Aaaaaah, good times.  Melania got dragged, pushed, pulled, ran over, left for dead, edges ripped out, backed over for good measure and then euthanized – rightfully so.  I’ve been saying Donald doesnt want to be president, and to put that child out on the world stage speaking someone else’s words speaks strongly to my point.  She said she wrote it, knowing full well she didnt, but even if she did, she’s shouldnt have been left alone to do that, being that this is a PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN AND NOT EVEN PRESIDENT WRITE THEIR OWN SPEECHES, but whatevs…..she’s not the only phony in the family…there is one way more nefarious than she, and that person, is her husband.

Walk with me children…to a simpler time, when her husband wasnt primed to torch the entire earth literally.  Back to 1991, when he was still The Donald, real estate magnate du jour, but ever as thin skinned, phony, bombastic and ego driven as he is now.  He was kinda being raked over the coals due to his marriage ending affair with Marla Maples.  A reporter from People Magazine reached out to this fool and he had his publicist, a one “John Miller” return the call.  John Miller told the reporter, he was new to the Trump organization and would do what he could to answer her questions.  Apparently he worked with a man named John Barron, who was well known to Washington Post and NY Times reporters covering the Trump beat.  Mr. Barron, had been working with the media for years, touting Donalds successes and his friendships with celebrities. Nothing wrong with that.  A magnate should have publicists bigging them up, singing their praises, doing damage control…..only one problem, and it was a problem both John Miller and John Barron had in common: THEY WERE BOTH DONALD TRUMP.  

Dont believe me?  Take a listen.

 

 

This fool lowered his voice two registers and pretended someone other than himself, y’all.

She just stole words….he stole a whole persona – a couple of them actually.