TRIGGER WARNING: If you are stupid, ur gonna be offended.
Them Kardashian’s and they black-girl-build-a-bodies.
Miley trying to twerk. Black women been twerking for years.
Boxer Braids? Them is cornrows.
They wanna be us so bad.
Hugh Hefner did it. Why they coming after Bill?
Hugh Hefner did it. Why they coming after Kelz?
That last one is a CLASSIC MORONIC STATEMENT. You probably should have used Jerry Lee Lewis for a more apropos comparison, but no one made any memes bout him, so you probs aint know he married his teenaged cousin. Be mad.
And then some clueless muthafucka tried to bring our recently dearly departed Purple One into it. Habitual. Line. Crossers.
SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH AND WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSAH AND WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH AND SOOOOOOOOOOOOOSAH.
Yesterday was one of those days when my body is a literal ball of flames. Everyone’s favorite pedophile was accused of crimes OTHER THAN THE ONE WE ALL HAVE SEEN. The Pied Piper of young girls was accused of running some sort of strange sex cult. Great. Fine. Whatever. Sad, but everyone is of legal age this time. Being from Chicago, we all know what dude is, there is literally NOTHING he would do that would surprise me. But yesterday black people participated in one of their favorite pastimes: THE COMPARISON GAMES. C’mon, you know The Comparison Games: when someone of color does something untoward, the black populace must find a white person’s crimes to equalize the shit. Why do we do this? Any other time they are wypipo; the others; devils; the sunken place overlords; 25/20s; crackas; them….but the MINUTE it goes down, the small-thinking person’s battle cry become: THEY DID IT TOO!!!!!
Great. They were crawling around in caves while we were studying in universities. When it was discovered that we held the cells that would be the foundation of so many medical breakthroughs, they were forming lynch mobs to snuff out our greatness. So why, kings and queens, can’t you see bad behavior, acknowledge it for what it is and hold ourselves in higher esteem than the people we choose to look down on so often. Fuck respectability, what about accountability?
I was an early supporter and almost employee of former Chicago Mayoral and US Presidential candidate Willie Wilson. I’ve written about my disappointment in the way he ran his campaign in this very space. One thing you won’t find in that article is me tearing him to shreds over the way he speaks. But many of you – the same people that ran to the defense of a rapist – did. I guess if he made stepping music, we “as a people” (the most barftastic phrase in history) would have been more forgiving of his shortcomings.
On Thursday mornings, I contribute a Myalogy segment to The Maze Jackson Morning Show on WVON. The day I caught the most flack was the day I suggested Bill Cosby wasn’t 100% innocent. The day I suggested he wasn’t about to buy NBC, a verifiable fact. The day I suggested that this wasn’t a plot to bring the black man down. Oh, the things my “brothers and sistas” called me. The mere suggestion that a black person did something bad brought out the lynch mob, who proudly participated in The COMPARISON GAMES: Emotional Response Edition. This man went on a speaking tour telling you how fucked up you and your parents are and black folks surrounded him with so much love, because him and his fictional children lined up on their staircase and lip synced “Night and Day.” FOH. I will give you this small allowance: this is where the Hugh Hefner comparison makes sense.
You all are the same people that ain’t speaking to your Uncle James over a $5 bid whist bet, but you rally around a man you saw rape and defile a young black woman, her ability to ride the dick and get peed on without flinching notwithstanding.
I think you should know tho….R.Kelly don’t give a damn about you. While you caping and riding and riding and caping, this man legit made a video telling you how you don’t support him. YALL, who don’t give one fuck he is a rapist, who continued to buy that tired ass music well after its expiration date, who watched him say he don’t know who Dave Chappelle is and then showed up wearing a Dave Chappelle t-shirt…yall don’t support him. He snapped on y’all in that video that has since been removed. He felt that way because of the disappointing sales of his last tired assed effort The Buffet. Y’all will support his bullfuckery, just not his music and that’s some funny shit. Funny because you are the people that implore us to separate the art from the artist, but when it comes to Kelz, y’all ain’t even supporting the art no more, so what are we really doing here?
Yall may not want a seat at The Buffet, but the internet showed yesterday, he is welcomed to eat at your crib any time. Just make sure your girlchildren ain’t home.
Never mind, they are young black girls…you don’t care anyway.