Before I Gave Kendu….

I wasn’t there and I don’t know what happened.  I don’t know if she started tooting blows again.  I don’t know if he got some Superhead.  I don’t know if her and KC had a later dinner and word got back.  I don’t know if he found out that Caesar from Planet of the Apes is his real dad and she wasn’t into beastiality.

But I do know, that he signed a pre-nup, which should be a non-contestable, iron-clad, document regardless of what genitalia the signers possess.

And another thing I know, is that there are many, some may even say, myriad things that I would do #BeforeIGaveKendu, one thin dime of money outside of what we agreed to prior to marrying – here those things are, in no particular order.

His Requests:  


  • TRUMP/PENCE 2016 would get all my money #BeforeIGaveKendu $5.732k for groceries.
  • Every bookstore/website in #murrica would get all my money for every existing and pre-order copy of every book Ann Coulter ever wrote #BeforeIGaveKendu $8k for a private chef.
  • Boko Haram would get all my money to take our girls back#BeforeIGaveKendu $1k for clothes to cover his ashy ass.
  • Steve Harvey would get all my money for a 1 on 1 intensive week long counseling session on how to get and more importantly keep a man #BeforeIGaveKendu $5k to continue paying his parents each month.
  • Courtney Kemp would get all my money in exchange for writing Holly back into Power #BeforeIGaveKendu $71k for his rental properties.
  • Kanye West would get all my money to pay off his debt, leaving him free to find the answers #BeforeIGaveKendu $5k to support HIS two youngest children.
  •  Mona Scott Young would get all my money to start her own network #BeforeIGaveKendu $2.5k for auto expenses and transportation.
  • Chief Keef would get all my money when I signed him to a life time contract with Myalogy Rekkids complete with full creative control #BeforeIGaveKendu $5.708k for maintenance and repair on his properties.
  • Charlie Sheen would get all my money in exchange for some unprotected Tiger Blood lovin #BeforeIGaveKendu $21.677k for charitable donations.

By no means is this list exhaustive, just a reference point for how a man, who had a career before we met – allegedly, I hired after we met, kept on after we married, and allowed me to do a singing KFC commercial under his “expert” management, wouldn’t get one dime over what we agreed to prior to marrying.

Dick up, Loser.

What would you give all your money to before his fugly ass?  Hit them comments!




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