Author name: zyansaeed615

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Myalogy Media: On Michelle, Girl of the South Side

Last week, I made a cryptic Facebook post about being at my alma mater, WHITNEY MOORE YOUNG JUNIOR MAGNET HIGH SCHOOL, bold, all caps. What I didn’t say is WHY is why I was there.  On this day, January 17th, the day the universe gave us Michelle LaVaughn Robinson Obama,  I’m proud to announce I was there to be interviewed by Natalie Yvonne Moore and WBEZ, as a fellow WY alumna and the legacy of the flyest FLOTUS ever. I was joined by other grads and current students in a roundtable discussion that ran the gamut from her strength, her style, her parenting, her marriage, her career, her public person, her prominence…and that beauty and  that BAWDY. You can listen to it here.  Play the Morning Shift show and enjoy. One of the hardest questions we were asked, was our favorite Michelle moment.  This was mine. What was yours?  Hit them comments. Happy Birthday Michelle – thank you for being the example, the standard. We love you and you will always be our first lady.

Recaps

Atlanta: The Cleland Notes

Hey Golden Globe Watcher! It is your time of year!  When all the awards shows tell you what you should be consuming creatively that you were just too lame to seek out on your own or jump on the bandwagon of when the rest of us cool kids told you to.  (Lean in: listen to The Internet, NOW.)  You  have watched the Globes, saw the brown suit, heard the Migos shout, and his gratitude to the Black People of Atlanta not to be confused with the black people of Atlanta and you wanna be down.  Cool.  Now, the GG’s just aired last night, and unless you are a super geek, you haven’t had time to binge watch.  And if you have had time, you need to get a real job.  Anyhoots, if you wanna impress your white co-workers or your friends on the block who you wanna seem cooler than, buckle up buttercup.  Drop these lines and people will think you are an influencer. Now, as I titled this, these are the Cleland notes of the show.  You still need to watch.  Drop these obscure dimes, follow up with “I love that show” and get the fuck out the breakroom and away from the watercooler. Say this about: Ep1/2 (aired together):  The Big Bang/Streets on Lock “But why this muthafucka ask to measure Earn’s dad’s tree?  HE CRAZY!  This ep established the wonderfully odd LaKeith Stanfield’s Darius.  He does other shit, like have dejavu about a dog.  Introduce himself to Earn right after introducing himself to Earn and other assorted shit.  But I have never in life heard someone ask someone to measure their tree.  His disappointment at not being able to do so is super endearing. “Did they subtitle ol boy in the jail, tho? Leben Years!” Two of the crew finds themselves in jail.  A native Atlien explains why he landed there, which was subtitled for folks that have not spent years of their life in Atlanta.  I knew what he was saying, cuz AUC ALUM, but it took some time before I developed an ear for that twang. Ep3 Go For Broke “I wish a muthafucka would tell me I cant order a kids meal.” Earn and the fast food employee chick that gave the School Daze crew a hard time at the KFC round Mission College (a real location) had a back and forth because his financially challenged ass couldnt afford an adult meal, but wanted a kids meal instead.  She was having none of it, cuz “she dont see no kids.” “That date? THURGOOOOOOOOOOD.” Earn takes his baby momma out on a date he cant afford, nor pay for in a scene right out of Half Baked.  If you dont know what “Thurgood” nor “Half Baked” refer to, just stop reading this.  This show is not for you. This blog is not for you. Ep4 The Streisand Effect “Thats the lil boy from Instagram! I love they using real Atlantans on this show!” Bankroll PJ is a lil precocious kid from Atlanta, who is the type of kid you forget is a kid.  My intro to him was a short vid where he says “We be flexin….”  Well, flex on playa…just keep them grades up like ya mama says you do. “We’re friends now? Tears” This one is specifically for the ladies, cuz the dudes cant be “tears”-ing over other dudes.  After some straight madcap hijinx to raise Earn some money…..Darius utters the phrase to him and Darius officially has our hearts. Ep5 Nobody Beats the Biebs “White people dont play bout them dogs.” In this ep, there is a black Justin Bieber, a white lady that cant tell black folks apart – even the ones that have wronged her, and enough niggas for a tarantino script, but Darius’ visit to the gun range with a dog shaped target……yall know you cant shoot no dogs. Ep6 Value “That bitch reminds me so much of <insert frenemy name>” Van has dinner with Jayde, an old friend who we all have and let remain in our lives way past their expiration date.  Man or woman, we all know a bitch like Jayde. “Van, just have the baby pee in a cup.” That one is for all my upwardly mobile reefah tokers. Ep7 B.A.N. “The Black N Mild Commercial!” This episode is so chock filled with greatness, its hard to parse out just one thing about it, but remember, you havent seen the show, so you gotta get in and get out.  This one line should do the trick.  Its straight forward, no guesses – there is a commercial bout a Black N Mild. Ep8 The Club “Was that the invisible car they was talmbout?!!!” You gotta say this one excitedly, as this was for the true Atlanta A1 Day1 Peace up Atown down fans…..there was a mention of an invisible car in an earlier ep, which appeared in this ep…or did it?  Ep9 Juneteenth “40 acres and a Moscow Mule.” A drink served at the Juneteenth celebration held in the home of a man that is every white person you know that wants to show you that black lives matter, especially the black life with whom he sleeps. Ep10 The Jacket “He slept in a storage locker, just like Hannah did on Girls!  You know he was on Girls right?” This will either make you sound like the coolest most aware black person alive or the lamest for watching Girls.  Its a tricky one, but it will show you are a true Donald Glover fan. Now, go be great…… …..and fuckin watch the show for Chrissakes. Fave moments and lines?  Hit them comments!  

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New Year, Who Me?

I wanna talk to you this morning.  You, who has no workout plan.  You, who has no savings plan.  You, who still doesn’t have a passport.  You, who still doesn’t have a Valentine to look forward to.  You, who still has not revised that resume.  You, who has ZERO idea what the next twelve days, let alone twelve months has in store for you. You are not alone. This thought behind this entry has been snaking around my head for months now, time spent relentlessly taking stock of all the things I haven’t accomplished. It didn’t come to fruition until I saw the featured image this morning.  I was standing on the Metra platform on this balmy (for January), but foggy Tuesday, unable to see anything further than a few yards in front of my face.  It dawned on me that view was like my future….foggy as fuck. As we all know, but may need to be reminded at times, social media makes everyone seem like they have everything together.  We cannot refuse the urge to use our contemporary’s lives as measuring sticks.  And the folks I consider my contemporaries have me feeling like the most fucked up fuckup that ever fucked up.  New York Times Best Sellers List. Sitcoms on air.  Sitcoms in development.  Book deals. Popping podcasts.  Invites to the last White House Xmas Party that will ever matter. Digital Maventry on fleek.  (I made up that word.  Maventry, not fleek – Im not that brilliant.)  Me?  I write on this blog every six weeks and get a good amount of love, enough that propels me to the next entry.  But I know that’s not enough. Truth is, I’m flailing.  I wholeheartedly and nakedly admit that. Fortunate enough to interview Issa, but not driven enough to enter a contest to become an employee of hers.  Uggggggggggggggh. Adventurous to enough to travel to Europe, but not smart enough to do video blogs while there.  Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Talented enough to have strangers and friends actually take the time to write me about how they love my work, but clueless about how to make that translate to actual financial freedom from corporate America.  Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh. Attractive enough to have had some stunning pictures taken for my revamped website, but too lazy to tell the photog which ones I wanted retouched for use, which is pushing back the re-launch of Myalogy.  Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarf. Howsinevah….. This year, I’m taking the steps to surround myself with the right people.  Not necessarily to remove anyone, but to spend time with people that pour into me creatively and can propel me to my greatness and hopefully, I can do the same for them. This entry was the first step.  Several people I respect and care for have told me the same thing, “just write.” I wrote this. This week, I will apply for a position that could take me to a foreign land. Also this week, I will guest on a radio show. Next month, I’m travelling to NYC to meet with a cool black girl screenwriter/filmmaker to learn how to take a script from A to Z.  The room where this happens will be filled with other cool black girls who write shit down. Video entries will be added to Myalogy. That’s the first two months of 2017.  I will continue to build upon that momentum.  At present, I do not know what that looks like – and that’s okay, FOR NOW. All of us don’t have a day planner for life.  All of us don’t even have a plan other than surviving. But, what’s not okay is to rest where you are, if you wanna be somewhere different and thrive, not just survive.  A baby step is still a step. Take it easy on yourself, remind yourself your journey is yours, read one of them “who made it in life, late in life” articles, ask for help and direction if you need it and then get busy. Or don’t. The Orange One may have us all dead soon anyway.        

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Dear Steve Harvey

Irate Woman’s Note: Rant forthcoming – not edited for clarity. I’m not really a fan.  Let’s get that out the way.  My disdain for you is kinda irrational and I cant really explain it, but it’s there.  Probably has tons to do with some personal choices you’ve made, which aint my business, and how your thoughts about women in general have been interpreted, which is. You’ve had moments tho.  I liked the Steven Harvey Show.  You were one of the best parts of The Kings of Comedy – Boogie and his coat and Sister Odell are canon to me. Family Feud is some funny shit.  But, I’m not here to fellate you this morning.  I’m here to recap a feeling you gave me this morning and get my weight up on this blog. This morning I was sitting in my car listening to your radio show, which I never do. Not because you aren’t entertaining, but because I’m never in my car in the morning.  There was a segment on the “best gift you ever gave”.  A solemn sounding young lady called in and after assaulting her with your non melodious voice and telling a story about a girl that dissed you with a similar name and seven hours passed, you got around to asking her what was the best gift she ever gave. She answered, so sadly, “forgiveness.”  She told how she didn’t think the person deserved it and how they may have only looked at it as a pass for their bad behavior. It broke my heart.  See, currently, I am struggling with setting pain free and forgiving someone I have NO reason to forgive, so when you sat there and gave her great advice, given to you by TD Jakes – it touched me.  The advice we’ve all heard before, but sometimes its about WHEN you receive the message and not how or from whom you receive it.  I was legitimately sitting there with tears about to streak down my face, wondering why God would use YOU, a person it is widely known I do not like, to part the clouds for me, when just like that, all the good will you had JUST garnered dissipated like the hopes and dreams of EARF on Tuesday, November 8, 2016.  One of them co-host howler monkeys – snaps for Sophia Petrillo – shouted out from the cheap seats: “what did HE do” to which you answered, when nobody asked you shit: “he cheated on her real bad” to which the caller countered “she is a he, and she is my mother” I exited my car at that point before I drove it into a brick wall. Mr. Harvey, listen to me and listen to me GOOD, gather all your penis possessin’ brethren, start a group text with all the men all us pitiful single black women should be thinking like and tell them this for me: EVERYTHING IS NOT ABOUT A DAMN MAN.  EVERY SINGLE THOUGHT/EMOTION/MOTIVATION/DISAPPOINTMENT A WOMAN FEELS IS NOT SOURCED FROM A FUCKING MAN. Continued Blessings and Clarity of Thought in the New Year, Mya Courtney Seals

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Don’t Forget To Be Angry

I haven’t. I’m angry as hell. Every time I have to walk past the black assed security officer at my job who said a woman wasn’t fit to lead; Every time the loud dumb blonde screams hello at me knowing we made different choices in the voting booth; Every time black blood is spilled and a white murderer goes free; I have a physical reaction to the above mentioned.  I haven’t written since right before the election.  I think I’ve been fighting some wild mixture of depression, bewilderment and murderous rage.  But being mad – alone – ain’t gonna solve anything.  So I’m asking you to take a couple of moments to join me in something. If you can tear yourself away from the loom, why Kim leaving Kanye aint funny (it is,and since I wrote this he met with Russia’s favorite son, which makes him more of a fucking joke), and why black women/men aint shit, I’d like you to look into the Injustice Boycott spearheaded by Shaun King.  Listen, he may have his detractors and that’s fine, but he is a leading voice against the injustices our community suffers and he’s trying to do something about it. From the Injustice Boycott Website: “Today, on Monday, Dec. 5, 2016 — the 61st anniversary of the launch of the Montgomery Bus Boycott — and now just hours after a major victory was won for the people of Standing Rock, hundreds of thousands of us have joined together to take an organized stand against racial injustice and police brutality in the United States of America. This is the Injustice Boycott. It’s not a petition. It’s not a Facebook page. It’s not a retweet or a hashtag. It’s an organized resistance, driven by local people and activists, supported by passionate believers all over the country and around the world. Just as the Montgomery Bus Boycott lasted for 381 days, we are prepared for this boycott to last as it takes to make change happen. Indeed, we won’t stop until it does. This boycott will not weaken, but will grow in size, strength, reach, and power every single day.” What Shaun is asking, is small in comparison to what we can accomplish.  During Phase 1, a social media push, every day you are sent an agenda, it may contain reading materials, but it will always contain a call to action – tweet something, facebook something – there are literally tweets in the email you can copy and paste.  This is only phase one, you will be asked to DO more, not pay more, but DO more.  Phase 1 is focusing on NYC, San Francisco and Standing Rock.  The movement will become national as time goes on. Invite someone else to join the movement – which is what I am doing right now.  Inviting you.  You on the internet all damned day anyway, I know cuz Lil Romeo and I  see you there everyday. Sign up here. And remember: When governments fear the people, there is liberty. When the people fear the government, there is tyranny. – Thomas Jefferson.

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Before I Gave Kendu….

I wasn’t there and I don’t know what happened.  I don’t know if she started tooting blows again.  I don’t know if he got some Superhead.  I don’t know if her and KC had a later dinner and word got back.  I don’t know if he found out that Caesar from Planet of the Apes is his real dad and she wasn’t into beastiality. But I do know, that he signed a pre-nup, which should be a non-contestable, iron-clad, document regardless of what genitalia the signers possess. And another thing I know, is that there are many, some may even say, myriad things that I would do #BeforeIGaveKendu, one thin dime of money outside of what we agreed to prior to marrying – here those things are, in no particular order. His Requests:   TRUMP/PENCE 2016 would get all my money #BeforeIGaveKendu $5.732k for groceries. Every bookstore/website in #murrica would get all my money for every existing and pre-order copy of every book Ann Coulter ever wrote #BeforeIGaveKendu $8k for a private chef. Boko Haram would get all my money to take our girls back#BeforeIGaveKendu $1k for clothes to cover his ashy ass. Steve Harvey would get all my money for a 1 on 1 intensive week long counseling session on how to get and more importantly keep a man #BeforeIGaveKendu $5k to continue paying his parents each month. Courtney Kemp would get all my money in exchange for writing Holly back into Power #BeforeIGaveKendu $71k for his rental properties. Kanye West would get all my money to pay off his debt, leaving him free to find the answers #BeforeIGaveKendu $5k to support HIS two youngest children.  Mona Scott Young would get all my money to start her own network #BeforeIGaveKendu $2.5k for auto expenses and transportation. Chief Keef would get all my money when I signed him to a life time contract with Myalogy Rekkids complete with full creative control #BeforeIGaveKendu $5.708k for maintenance and repair on his properties. Charlie Sheen would get all my money in exchange for some unprotected Tiger Blood lovin #BeforeIGaveKendu $21.677k for charitable donations. By no means is this list exhaustive, just a reference point for how a man, who had a career before we met – allegedly, I hired after we met, kept on after we married, and allowed me to do a singing KFC commercial under his “expert” management, wouldn’t get one dime over what we agreed to prior to marrying. Dick up, Loser. What would you give all your money to before his fugly ass?  Hit them comments!      

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Dumb Shit on the Internet I Can’t Stay Silent On…..

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY IDIOTS and the people that love and tolerate them!  Y’all have brought me back from my Power ending induced funk with all the dumb shit yall keep posting in my sacred space Facebook. Im angry and jaded 101.75% of the time, so with those new to Myalogy, please know that while I proceed to clear my heart and mind of the dumbshit so I dont have to speak on it anymore. TRUMP VS. COSBY These are both vile men.  I’ve met neither in person, thanks to the gods, but damn near every person that I know that has encountered them has said this.  Both are wealthy.  Both are powerful.  Both have been accused of sexual assault; only one is facing criminal charges – the BLACK ONE.  DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH.  I know….the white people trying to bring him down.  He was bout to buy NBC.  He was ready to make a comeback on NBC showcasing a positive black family.  He was…….the one that brought this shit on himself.  Not content to lead by public example, both the real and show versions of him and his wives were the Obama’s of the 80s, this piece of garbage went on a public tour to talk bout how the very people that support and love him, need to get to pulling on their bootstraps and stop throwing syllables together when naming their children.  AND THAT, blackity black black blackass people, your cute memes nothwithstanding, is the ONE reason why all this has come up.  Dont believe me?  I know its hard and asking a lot, but READ. http://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/bill-cosby-scandal/judge-explains-why-he-unsealed-bill-cosby-court-documents-n387861 and since I know you hate reading….a synopsis. “The stark contrast between Bill Cosby, the public moralist and Bill Cosby, the subject of serious allegations concerning improper (and perhaps criminal) conduct is a matter as to which the AP — and by extension the public — has a significant interest,” Judge Eduardo Robreno wrote in a memorandum Monday. The documents were released after a request from The Associated Press.  Robreno wrote Monday that the case “is not about the Defendant’s status as a public person by virtue of the exercise of his trade as a televised or comedic personality. Rather, Defendant has donned the mantle of public moralist and mounted the proverbial electronic or print soap box to volunteer his views on, among other things, childrearing, family life, education, and crime.” Cosby has made himself part of these public issues and therefore has “voluntarily narrowed the zone of privacy that he is entitled to claim,” the judge wrote.” YA BOY DID THIS TO HIMSELF.  Stop the bullshit.    Azealia Banks, Problematic Free Black Woman FUCK OUT OF HERE.  This chick, whether because of abuse, mental illness, drugs, alcohol, lack of talent, lack of attention, being the middle child, or the burden of being a black woman in this world is a SHIT SHOW. Railing against damn near every racial group, ethnicity, sexual preference, gender identity, doesn’t make you free.  It makes you a piece of shit.   I know plenty of free black women, one is the well known sister of a good friend of mine.  She takes internet trolls and opposing cable news commentators to the woodshed, speaking intelligently and truthfully and I havent even seen her crown TRY and slip off her head. She is the epitome of what white people would call problematic, but in my eyes, just strong, capable and intelligent….a threat to this whole entire world and the way it views and treats black women.  This week something happened with this chick and Russell Crowe, just as much of a trash person as Banks, and the black wommins and hoteps CAME OUT.  WHY?  Cuz he called her a nigger?  SHE IS ONE.  You think that bothered her?  She called Zayn Malik a bitch ass nigga.  When you lower that bar, that’s where you give folks persmission to meet you.  SHE ATTACKED MY BELOVED DISNEY STAR Skai Jackson, A BABY FOR CHRISSAKES…a baby that handed that heffa her ass, btw. Now if he choked her, that makes me happy, cuz I aint shit, but that honestly is a problem and he should be locked up for it. This chick bleaches her skin, which gotta be against Hotep and Teptress laws, as well as respectable black folks, unless you Ambi-ing some acne spots, but still we persist in holding this dumpster fire up as some form of black folk hero.  Stop the bullshit.    My Public Statements Ain’t Public How in this year of our Lord is ANYONE outside your aged relatives new to Facebook STILL posting that privacy notice?  HOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW? You post your life all over facebook all damn day. Breakups, make ups, job interviews, firings, your calls for your prayer warriors, how wifey got caught up, your kids pics, your grandkids pics, that shitty assed dinner you made bae, them half dead flowers he brought you and now you wanna post a freakin privacy policy?  Like me and my band of petty idiots aint screenshotting every damn laughable dumb ass thing you say and post?  You know the only thing anyone will do with your boringness? Laugh at it…like we do when we send it to each other and snark over it in our secret inbox group.  Are you even remotely aware that due to the language you have no way of understanding, the user agreement you accepted for both Facebook and Messenger, means they pretty much can do damn near anything with those fugly Joe Camel selfies you persist in taking?  They just let you keep your phone…they own everything in it. LMAO. From an attorney, on the matter: “Please, I beg you. Do not start posting Uniform Commercial Code and Rome law as protectors of what you say on someone else’s property that you are using for free! Do you even know what the Uniform Commercial Code is? If you want to protect your privacy just shut down the FREE account on Facebook. You don’t have to say anything.

Recaps

Powerful Thoughts 3.10 ~ FINITO ~

Well Powerfans, we’ve reached the conclusion of the third season. It felt very much like the second season of the wire to me….the “white” season, which on the surface, the first time around, was a nuisance and a distraction from my beloved towers and corner boys, but upon the conclusion of the series, stands up against any other season, except maybe the school system/kids season. I’m hoping that once its all said and done, this third season just seems like a sort of shit show, but once the story is concluded, will assume its rightful place in my perspective. Editor’s Note: Please know, I woke up at 6am Sunday morning, and discovered the world as I knew it had changed….this got damn episode was NOT on Comsucksfinity or whatever they calling themselves these days onDemand. I. WAS. LIVID. To the Facebook I go, and see folks commenting….WTF? Bada boom, bada bing, abracadabra, threats for passwords, I saw it. And still wrote this review three days later….I am a loser. Anyway, in the words of Stringer Bell, lets get to it muthafuckas…… Here Lies Gregex P. Keaton We open the show with Gregex showing up to the site where Ruiz’s body is found and retrieving the button recorder which has captured Tommy running his trap too damn much and killing Ruiz and his dumb hat. Cut to Greg in his office, cueing up the recorder when he is interrupted by some black dude I dont remember seeing before, who starts checking him for not reporting Ruiz’s death. Gregex rushes dude off, leaves and drops in on Nick Nolte, Homeland Security™, who breaks it to him that the tapes are inadmissible. He is not deterred, he feels like he can get folks to flip on each other. He first tries his bullshit with Ghost, who seems to have recovered some brain cells cuz he tells Greg he aint going…if he had something he would have arrested him. FOILED AGAIN MR. KEATON! He eturns home only slightly defeated, calls over Agent Sandoval and begins to tell him how he got the goods on Angie, Tommy and Ghost when he is interrupted by a phone call – its the Federales, calling to say, that they havent been in communication with anyone in his office, regardless of the fact that Sandoval said one of his tips regarding Lobos came from them. RUH ROH. Greg, now remembers Sandoval leaving Hugo’s crib and confronts him with this information, assuring him that they can make it alright if he just surrenders himself. Trump got these white men thinking they can save the world and make it great again, but who they cant save is themselves. Sandoval has not one second of time for that flimflam…..him and his silencer are gonna silence Greg permanently. He shoots and kills Greg and leaves the dirty Lobos burner phone in Greg’s desk. Agent Clarice Starling’s case is now officially closed. Gregex P. Keaton goes down as the mole. All Lean is Not Created Equal Tariq, (god is he still alive?) is yes, Mya, still alive and still hanging out with Kanan, who puts Tariq to the test to see if these hoes are indeed loyal…and SUPRISE CBreezy, they are. He tells Tariq to drop a package off to someone who seems to be an undercover officer. He cuffs Tariq and puts him in the back of a squad car driven by the biggest mama of them all, Jukebox. They aggressively question him, but he wont break. Kanan interrupts the interrogation and is visibly pleased by his lil pup. They all go back to dearly departed Meemaw’s crib for a celebratory round of lean, which is, according to Jukebox, mixed differently in DC than NYC. This superlean knocks Tariq clean out, while they decide what to do with him. Kanan wants to just have him break into his homies crib and make him a professional thief, but Juke has other designs….she wants to ransom, as a verb, Tariq, get Ghost to pay and still kill his kid, breaking him in his pockets and his heart. Kanan reluctantly (HUH? You killed your own son and was JUST bout to throw a baby out a window -literally) agrees and he and a comatose Tariq pose for a very rapey picture, which they promptly text to Tasha, who has just returned home from Truth and is desperately trying to reach an unreachable Ghost. The Best Laid Plans Our “hero” does have a plan and it includes him becoming the Black Spiderman to break into Greg’s crib to retrieve the recorder, after he sees Greg at the Ruiz murder scene. No sooner than he scales the fire escape and enters Greg’s apartment thru a window, does he find his dick FIRMLY in the dust…….He sees Angies drawls (draws?) and I am unable to can stop laughing….I love seeing folks catch the vapors…Its my PLEASURE. He looks up and sees the evidence wall targeting him and is completely broken. Just then Angie enters, he hides, and attempts to make a smooth getaway when she leaves, but — not gonna happen. He has to take off his pesky gloves to close Gregs window and make as much noise as possible while making his exit. Dropping shit down four stories, losing his Spidey sense and he aint even get what he came for. Shameful. He later meets up with Tommy and it appears Tommy is on his side, although I cant say I would be at this point. He tells Ghost that Milan plans to kill him later that night at Truth after he signs the Karen contracts, so they can continue business as usual with Dre at the helm of Truth. Fast forward to party time and everyone looking all shaaaaaab and happy, even Tasha, whose weave is remains a case. Ghost meets with Karen to sign the papers, under Milan’s watchful eye. Milan thinks its go time and steps to Ghost, ready to make his move, when Ghost tells

Recaps

Powerful Thoughts 3.9

I’d like to open this recap with the following statement meant to convey my maturity and lack of hubris: I TOLD YALL MUTHAFUCKASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!  THE RETURN OF GHOST AND T.  Ahem….. Penultimate episode here, which I felt was anything but ultimate, but hey…….im here to report and judge the show, not write it.  I will say Court and Co have done an amazing job of making me love Tommy and hate Ghost…which at the start of the show was inconceivable to me.  Now its hard to remember when I used to cheer for Ghost and want to see him to be great. He used to call you on your cellphone Hugo’s cellphone is in Angela’s clutches and she is making little headway figuring out what to do with it. As fate would have it, Sandoval calls it while she is holding it in her hand and she answers it.  No one speaks on the other end, but she hears the chopper that’s flying overhead their building, on her end and the callers end. Sandoval does as well and disconnects the call. After meeting up with Jamie, outside in public while wearing their invisibility cloaks and learning Gregex was at Tommy’s house questioning Kate, she goes to her pasty butt boyfriend and tries to put her butter pecan rican on him.  Known to us, but unbeknownst to her, Greg will take the ass, but he’s still on her trail.  While she is sleeping, he goes into her briefcase, finds the cell and takes a pic of the sim card so he can have his buddy Agent Medina run it later.  That boy is quicka than that thang yall! Have you ever tried to go thru ya people’s phone while they in the next room.  Hands all shakey, mouth all dry, fumbling….OH THATS ONLY ME HUH?  Yeah, Okay.  Anyway, he meets with Medina and gets some info that leads him to a store near Hugo’s crib. He arrives there just in time to see Sandoval leaving Hugo’s crib, where he removed a pic of him and his wife and hopefully his only connection to Hugo. Greg is all GOLLY GEE and trying to figure out why Sandoval would be there. No Love in the Club In the season’s most meandering pointless subplot, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz  kantos returns demanding sterns invite list zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ghost got a plan zzzzzzzzzzzz julio stashing drugs in the cocky white boy club zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ghost busts up cocky white boys/karen meeting zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz cops arrive zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz cocky white boys arrested zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz big party back on at Truth zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Reunited and it feels so dumb It’s career day at the St. Patrick kids school and James St. Patrick is up there in all his tailored suit glory talking bout the challenges of being a club owner and the adverse affect it can have on your loved ones.  Tariq dont give a fuck; texting his boy Slim Fug to hook up later while his dad is up there talking…but his Mama gives fucks….many confused, contorted, ugly face fucks.  After hitting the club kids where it hurts and stealing his club business back, Ghost returns home triumphant.  Tasha is liquored up on wine when he gets there and congratulates him on beating the competition and keeping them safe from Milan.  She’s so grateful in fact, she rewards him with the gift of her open legs and as many ugly faces as she can muster.  That shit was hard for me to watch, which is becoming the norm for me and Power sex scenes.  She must have literally gotten her brains fucked out, because no sooner than Ghost leaves, does she pick up the phone and tell Tommy that Ghost is working to eliminate Milan and must be stopped, even tho she just thanked him for working to eliminate Milan.  Fine.  Tasha…we forgave you fuckin round with Dumbface Shawn, ya man’s was dickin around with bimbos (shouts out to Colin Powell), but this is just STUPID. Don’t enter the Game of Dummies…the field is too crowded. Ebony and Ivory do NOT go together in perfect harmony This week finds me sad again at the deterioration of Ghost and Tommy’s relationship.  The show opens with them sitting across from each other, Ghost questioning Tommy like a jealous lover bout why he aint return his call.  Aint this a bitch?  Actually, aint this a man?  Demanding the truth while lying to someone’s face.  Tommy tells him that he went to Milan’s warehouse to get closer to him. He also lets Ghost know that Ruiz is becoming a problem, refusing to sell anything until he sits down face to face with Milan to get a better understanding about why the product has to change.  Ghosts assures him that Ruiz will fall in line, because – ALTOGETHER NOW – he has a plan. GOT dammit I’m sick of this man and his plans.  Ghost reminds Tommy its of the utmost importance that they stick together and keep each other in the know, even tho we know he refuses to tell anyone, anything, anyplace, anytime – ever.  Tommy later arranges the meeting with a wire wearing Ruiz and Milan, during which he receives a phone call from a “dick for brains” – literally-  assed Tasha, who lets him know that Ghost JUST told her that he was working on a plan to rid them of Milan permanently.  This pisses Tommy off to NO END.  Earlier in the ep, he defended their friendship to Milan.  He told Milan that Ghost was all on board with the team and that he’s just being cautious.  Milan tells Tommy, all that is fine, but if Ghost aint right, Tommy will meet his own untimely demise.  This leads to Tommy giving Ruiz a ride home from the meet to his final destination.  In the car, Tommy vents his frustration over Ghost’s latest betrayal, confessing that Lobos is dead, and eventually killing Ruiz – ALL ON THE TAPE RECORD.  He returns to Truth to tell Ghost that he

Recaps

Powerful Thoughts 3.8

PASTY WHITE BUTT SEX. Courtney, didn’t we have a conversation about making us watch these sad barftastic vomitorius sex scenes?  Two weeks after you save us from Holly’s bony white ass, we gotta see Gregex P. Keaton’s bony white ass? Clearly further re-direction is needed. Let’s talk soon. With the season coming to a too soon close, all hell is continuing to break loose and all the characters are telling each other to do the last thing they should do – “trust me”, the title of this episode. These people are keeping MORE secrets from each other, secrets that would likely make things much easier and safer for all involved parties, but this is a show about allegedly smart people doing very dumb things.  That being said…lets get the boring shit out the way, huh? AngeLAMEs These two assholes are still in each other’s orbit and why shouldn’t they be? He’s following her around like a lil bitch.  Crying when he sees her at Greg’s crib. She’s still showing up at Tasha’s house, trying to question her about what she does with her husband.  Can we take a pause for me to tell you how out her lights would have been the first time she came to my crib?  They finally come face to face in a who gives a fuck scene that is totally unnoteworthy until it is revealed that she is wearing a wire to build the case against Ghost that she would never tell anyone about cuz she too dickwhipped to see him suffer.  He is equally pussywhipped and is willing to betray those closest to him to make sure she is safe, which honestly, HE SHOULD.  This lady has give up so much for this relationshiT….her freedom shouldn’t be at risk. She seemingly knows this and will do what she can to save herself without sacrificing Jamie.  She is desperate to get Agent Starling and her ilk off her trail, so she goes to Gregex to show him she’s been investigating Jamie.  She shows him footage of Jamie at the hotel the time Lobos was killed (do we know that he’s dead?) and tells him how cold she is now that its apparent Jamie used her while reconciling with his wife.  This leads Greg to comfort his former lover with his penis and leads her to believe she has neutralized Greg.  But like all men, once they get that release, the blood rushes back to other essential muscles and he aint going…soon as he rolls over and farts he sends a text to someone telling them that Angie is def involved in the Lobos fuck up. Sad trombone Angie….you got ran thru, had to look at a pic of BAE while getting sad, powerless thrusts from Boo and he STILL don’t trust you.  While there is a contest over the dumbest person on the show, there isnt one for the biggest loser….its habitually YOU. Milan to the right of them, Milan to the left them… Much like them cannons Lord Tennyson spoke of, Milan is fucking everywhere.  In his own warehouse waking Tommy from a beatdown induced sleep; in Tasha and Keisha’s shop – threatening to expose Tasha and scaring Keisha into making unnecessary noise when she should be frozen with fear; in Truth somehow making Jamie SAT DOWN in what appears to be the tightest suit in his collection, and most importantly, in between Ghost and Tommy.  He’s having Tommy call Primera meetings in Truth behind Jamie’s back, tempting Tommy with a life of no obligation to anyone (except him of course), offering to share his people porridge, just doing it all! He’s gonna have them walking around in them Diddy/Mase #1/#2 jerseys in just one minute.  In a serious role reversal, Milan has Tommy hold and conduct the Primera meeting, where he gives a rousing GMoney speech bout how pills are the future, and they will now all be pushing pills in addition to dope.  They all initially balk and start swinging dicks bout how aint nobody gonna tell them what to sell, but a quick hit to Asian Primera’s main vein and his subsequent death changes all of their tunes….everyone is on deck – including the freshly returned to power Ruiz and that dumb ass hat of his.  Pills for EVERYONE! My mama aint raise no dummy, but Tariq’s mama did. The game of dummy’s got a brand new front runner this week.  Although Ghost and Dre continue to be very strong contenders, Tariq has entered the contest and is off to a rousing start.  This boy…whoe seems old enough to tie his own shoes and is brave enough to stand in his dad’s face shitting on his choices and his sidebitch, is somehow not smart enough to not tell a total stranger, where he goes to school, what time he gets out of school, his dad’s social security number, where his mom gets her shitty closures from, nor recognize stranger danger when he sees it.  Kanan pops up on the scene where Dre has taken Tariq to play ball and starts to endear himself to the young man – being overly complimentary and asking too many fucking questions.  Watching this scene made me immediately think of the XXL cover with 50 caressing Soulja Boy, both of them slathered in Johnson’s Baby Oil Gel.  I was so scared that man was gonna kiss that lil boy in his mouth, I swear I was.  Kanan, who never saw a line he wasnt eager to cross, kicks it up a notch, showing up at Tariq’s school, goading the lil boy to defy his father and take a trip  to the hood with him.  This dumb ass not only goes, but starts drinking lean, OUT THE SAME STRAW WITH A TOTAL STRANGER!!!!  Who does that?  I mean kids are dumb…but you aint gotta be dumb and gross Tariq…at least raise the lid and drink straight out the cup!  A co-worker once tried to give me some

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