I ended the last recap asking WHO yall think gonna die. The correct question should have been WHO ALL yall think gonna die. The LA County Coroner had his hands quite busy due to The Saint and his people. What was the final body count, fifty-leven? A hunna milli? Shole felt like it. Lets shovel this snow, shall we?!
Betrayal is the name of the episode, but it shoulda been “When Franklins Voice Cracks, Yo Ass Finna Get Attacked! As luhLee can tell you in what remains my favorite scene of this show. DRIVE MUTHAFUCKA!!!!! so im super late to this recap party, but lets just pretend Ive been up for the past four years. Mkay…thanks! NOTE: if you decide to join me on this journey, you may not get a lot of Reed and Oso….their storylines are what put me off the show in season one. It was too disjointed and took me out of the black peoples bidness. I understand why they are important and needed in this show, im just saying, don’t get too used to reading bout them in this space. The Opps: We see Manboy, Skully and Khadijah talking bout the newspaper expose and how they now know how Franklin beat his murder rap and how they THINK the CIA wont want anything to do with Franklin and how Manboy gonna step up and be the plug. I guess he’s gonna call 1-800-CAN-I-SELL-DRUGS-FOR-YALL-NOW and they are gonna play ball. Not content to just settle for money over her daughter’s spilled blood, Khadijah and her hood rat crew head over to Fat Back’s funeral and spray everybody in sight, which for some reason includes our entire favorite crew, just out chilling in front of the joint, like it aint bounties on their heads. Luckily, kinda, for us, everyone emerges from the drive by unscathed….well almost everyone. Louie and Jerome: Unc is still smarting from Louie’s decision to hide the CIA’s involvement in their family badness. As he’s preparing to go to Fat Backs funeral, RIP TO A REAL ONE, she’s cautioning them why they shouldn’t go. There is a bounty on their heads after all. But Unc aint hearing it…Fatback was one of theirs and he aint going. Men and their egos and bullshit, amirite? In a scene right out of every urban film you’ve seen, as Louie is happily walking up to join the mourners, Khadijah, sees her open and takes it…guess who gets hit? Louie. UNC IS LIVID AND OUT FOR BLOOD. Franklin tasks LuhLee with trying to contain Unc and not let him go retaliate, but how Luhlee posed to stop a man who just saw his baby shot down? HE CANT. Thats the answer. Cissy and Alton: Alton, last seen being pistol whipped by his son over outing him and Reed to the lady journo, crawls back to The Saint House to confront Cissy over what their son has become, the environment he has created and what that means for their future. He begs her to go to Cuba, a place that lives rent free in my head and heart, hang out with Assata and laugh at how they beat the government. Cissy isn’t moved by this plan, until the money they gave to a power broker is returned in light of the story published about Franklin and the CIA. She sees aint no future in her fronting. She has to get real about the situation they have all created and benefitted from. The walls are gonna close in on them eventually. There are only a couple of ways out of their mess and as she sits waiting to find out about Louie’s prognosis, in the same hospital waiting room where she waited to found out about her own sons prognosis, she has an epiphany. She don’t want Franklin’s future. She don’t want Alton’s future. She wants her own future. She tells Franklin “mama gotta have a life too” and he begs her to wait until he returns from a meeting to make a move. She doesn’t. Have we seen the last of CIssy Saint? Lady Journo: name unimportant. how and why she thought it was a great idea to expose the CIA is beyond me. This aint Watergate ma’am…you aint fucking with the Republican Party, you fuckin with the C, the I and the A? What do they do? I don’t even know, I just know I don’t want no part of nothing bout them. She takes her victory lap at the paper and everyone is like GO NEWSPAPER LADY. KORBEL FOR EVERYONE! She ends up taking a call from Franklin, who wants to meet with her. He tries to threaten her in the most regal refined way possible, but she think she tough. Although she leaves the meeting triumphant, she soon is summoned by the paper’s Legal Affairs dept, who tells her she gotta pull the plug on this series and boy is she pissed. She realizes shits gotten outta hand and prepares to go into hiding. She packs up her place and tells her ex, she just wants one last night in her home….lol. That one last night got her a visit from the CIA boys, accompanied by a shot in her arm and a promise that she will wake up tomorrow, but if they have to come again she may not be as lucky. Bye Lady Journo….Alton has an extra ticket to Cuba, maybe you can go with him. Franklin: Franklin is reeeeeling after the expose was published on him and he was unable to get a hold of Reed, who has been in Central America. He truly in over his head this time, which is saying alot. This shit is so much bigger than him. Everyone is in his bidness. And he can’t control it, which lead to one of my favorite Franklin tropes, the aforementioned voice crack! lol. Eventually Reed returns and meets with Franklin to assess the damage and how they can contain all this mess. Reed reminds him of two things….he will always have his back and trust no one….which leads me to ask this question: WHO THE FUCK AINT NO TALLAHASSEE OR WHOEVER WAS A PLANT? Franklin. Franklin Saint thats who. Jesus, HOWWWWWWWWWW? From the moment she stepped on the scene, I knew. Franklin returns to the hospital and finds out
I live for television. Anyone that knows me knows that. Some of my favorite music, quotes, and fashions come from television – ironically enough HBO. True Blood gave me Lady. Tony Soprano taught me to stop OldBoyfriend™ when he starts with that “remember that time we…..” with “remember when is the lowest form of conversation.” Carrie gave me that Galliano for Dior Newspaper dress….that I could never wear, but sure was orgasmic to look at. These days HBO is making it possible for me to see my absolute favorites – black women – in front of and behind the camera. One show, Insecure, is currently on air with two additional shows created by black women in development. My fave has a show she just sold to FX, but you gotta read the blog to find out bout it! Issa Rae My beloved Awkward Black Girl is back with season 2 of Insecure. The summer hit will be back July 23 with the continuing saga of every girl, Issa Dee and her BFF Molly, both of whom have love lives that makes yours look – or at least feel, solid and isn’t that reason enough to watch a show? To see someone as fucked up as you? Or someone doing a little bit better which gives you hope. Either way, Issa is funny as fuck; can turn any situation into a rap; has a Blood neighbor who replaces C’s with B’s -cuz Crips, a sunken place of employment and had two handsome brothers after her. A woman playa? A woman conflicted? A woman wanting something more and different? A woman growing? Sign me up! Last season Jidenna’s fine ginger ass showed up…who knows who is on deck this season? Check out the season 2 trailer below and please know as the promo promises, “It’s gonna be hella great.” Natasha Rothwell You may have noticed Ms. Rothwell from the Insecure trailer, where she plays the so-wrong-she-is-right Kelli, but she is so much more than part of Issa Dee’s clique and Issa Rae’s production staff. This former SNL writer, who ALMOST appeared on our televisions instead of the recently departed Sasheer Zamata, is a comic force to be reckoned with in her own right. She is the co-creator and executive producer of her own sketch comedy show, The Characters, a Netflix original series. Much like Issa’s breakout rap performance of “Broken Pussy,” Natasha got down in her own right with her “Basic Bitch” song featured on the show. HBO and Natasha are being tight-lipped about her show which is currently in development, but the writer/actress told Nylon Magazine, “It’s a ridiculous opportunity. I can’t believe I tricked them into letting me have my own show.” If it’s ridiculous and anything like her Insecure and Characters appearances, I’m here for it. Dr. Nnedi Okorafor Everybody and their mothers, except me and my mother, is crazy as fuck about Game of Thrones. I don’t love it, but I understand the genius of George R.R. Martin’s sprawling series and how it has been adapted for television to the delight of book readers and series watchers. Who and what Mr. Martin finds genius is Chicagoland’s very own Dr. Nnedi Okorafor and her critically acclaimed novel Who Fears Death. It is the story of Oneyesonwu, a young woman who is the product of the forbidden love of the members of two warring tribes in post-apocalyptic Sudan and her efforts to right the wrongs committed against her family. On her Facebook page, Dr. Okorafor had this to say: I am very involved in the adaptation. I also know George very well; he’s been a mentor to me through all this. And all those involved know what this story is; Onyesonwu is in good hands.” While the show is only in development, with such rich source material AND Mr. Martin’s involvement, I’m sure we will see this one soon. HONORABLE MENTION: Samantha Irby People that know me know, I am over the moon about this woman’s writing. She is disgusting, profane, hilarious, sweet (though she wouldn’t want you to know that), fearless, horrid, honest and the best. Irby started her career with an extremely popular blog, Bitches Gotta Eat, which made her a critical darling in Chicago. If you have ever found ONE thing I said funny, trust me, this is the chick for you. Her debut collection of essays Meaty, made me laugh and cry and cheer and snark. I apparently was NOT alone in finding her funny as a number of A-list celebrities took note of her comedic genius. As a result she has a show based on Meaty, set to appear on FX. Add to this the juggernaut that is her second book We Are Never Meeting In Real Life, which is appearing on EVERY best list you can find, and you will soon know, if you don’t already, there is no end in sight for her. Note: she gets an honorable mention ONLY cuz this list is about HBO, which should be in the Samantha Irby business.
Hey Golden Globe Watcher! It is your time of year! When all the awards shows tell you what you should be consuming creatively that you were just too lame to seek out on your own or jump on the bandwagon of when the rest of us cool kids told you to. (Lean in: listen to The Internet, NOW.) You have watched the Globes, saw the brown suit, heard the Migos shout, and his gratitude to the Black People of Atlanta not to be confused with the black people of Atlanta and you wanna be down. Cool. Now, the GG’s just aired last night, and unless you are a super geek, you haven’t had time to binge watch. And if you have had time, you need to get a real job. Anyhoots, if you wanna impress your white co-workers or your friends on the block who you wanna seem cooler than, buckle up buttercup. Drop these lines and people will think you are an influencer. Now, as I titled this, these are the Cleland notes of the show. You still need to watch. Drop these obscure dimes, follow up with “I love that show” and get the fuck out the breakroom and away from the watercooler. Say this about: Ep1/2 (aired together): The Big Bang/Streets on Lock “But why this muthafucka ask to measure Earn’s dad’s tree? HE CRAZY! This ep established the wonderfully odd LaKeith Stanfield’s Darius. He does other shit, like have dejavu about a dog. Introduce himself to Earn right after introducing himself to Earn and other assorted shit. But I have never in life heard someone ask someone to measure their tree. His disappointment at not being able to do so is super endearing. “Did they subtitle ol boy in the jail, tho? Leben Years!” Two of the crew finds themselves in jail. A native Atlien explains why he landed there, which was subtitled for folks that have not spent years of their life in Atlanta. I knew what he was saying, cuz AUC ALUM, but it took some time before I developed an ear for that twang. Ep3 Go For Broke “I wish a muthafucka would tell me I cant order a kids meal.” Earn and the fast food employee chick that gave the School Daze crew a hard time at the KFC round Mission College (a real location) had a back and forth because his financially challenged ass couldnt afford an adult meal, but wanted a kids meal instead. She was having none of it, cuz “she dont see no kids.” “That date? THURGOOOOOOOOOOD.” Earn takes his baby momma out on a date he cant afford, nor pay for in a scene right out of Half Baked. If you dont know what “Thurgood” nor “Half Baked” refer to, just stop reading this. This show is not for you. This blog is not for you. Ep4 The Streisand Effect “Thats the lil boy from Instagram! I love they using real Atlantans on this show!” Bankroll PJ is a lil precocious kid from Atlanta, who is the type of kid you forget is a kid. My intro to him was a short vid where he says “We be flexin….” Well, flex on playa…just keep them grades up like ya mama says you do. “We’re friends now? Tears” This one is specifically for the ladies, cuz the dudes cant be “tears”-ing over other dudes. After some straight madcap hijinx to raise Earn some money…..Darius utters the phrase to him and Darius officially has our hearts. Ep5 Nobody Beats the Biebs “White people dont play bout them dogs.” In this ep, there is a black Justin Bieber, a white lady that cant tell black folks apart – even the ones that have wronged her, and enough niggas for a tarantino script, but Darius’ visit to the gun range with a dog shaped target……yall know you cant shoot no dogs. Ep6 Value “That bitch reminds me so much of <insert frenemy name>” Van has dinner with Jayde, an old friend who we all have and let remain in our lives way past their expiration date. Man or woman, we all know a bitch like Jayde. “Van, just have the baby pee in a cup.” That one is for all my upwardly mobile reefah tokers. Ep7 B.A.N. “The Black N Mild Commercial!” This episode is so chock filled with greatness, its hard to parse out just one thing about it, but remember, you havent seen the show, so you gotta get in and get out. This one line should do the trick. Its straight forward, no guesses – there is a commercial bout a Black N Mild. Ep8 The Club “Was that the invisible car they was talmbout?!!!” You gotta say this one excitedly, as this was for the true Atlanta A1 Day1 Peace up Atown down fans…..there was a mention of an invisible car in an earlier ep, which appeared in this ep…or did it? Ep9 Juneteenth “40 acres and a Moscow Mule.” A drink served at the Juneteenth celebration held in the home of a man that is every white person you know that wants to show you that black lives matter, especially the black life with whom he sleeps. Ep10 The Jacket “He slept in a storage locker, just like Hannah did on Girls! You know he was on Girls right?” This will either make you sound like the coolest most aware black person alive or the lamest for watching Girls. Its a tricky one, but it will show you are a true Donald Glover fan. Now, go be great…… …..and fuckin watch the show for Chrissakes. Fave moments and lines? Hit them comments!